The Fears of a Broken Mind
by Rathian Empress
Summary: It all started when Thor invited his warrior friends to stay with him in Tony's tower. 'For a time of partying' he'd said. For a reason Thor does not understand, Loki does not like his friends. Well, one in particular, but, since they all came together, it might as well be all of them. All of his problems began with one person. It all started wth Fandral... Explict rape elements
1. The Fear Loki Tried To Forget

**WARNING DARK!FANDRAL/ABUSED!LOKI**

**THIS FIC INVOLVES EXPLICIT RAPE ELEMENTS AHEAD!**

**DON'T LIKE DON'T READ**

* * *

Thor sighed as he entered the tower, happy to finally be away from all the Council meetings and the exhaustion of Asgard. To be among friends whom he could relax with. He dropped Mjolnir over near the elevator and flopped down onto the couch. Clint raised his beer in acknowledgement and then turned back to the tv.

"Hey Pikachu, watch it. I just had that floor waxed." Tony said as he came out of the kitchen. He took a large bite out of his sandwich and sat down.

"My apologies friend Stark. Would you like me to move my hammer?" he asked. Tony shook his head.

"Nah. Hey, we're having pizza. You want me to order one for you?" Thor smiled.

"If it is not too much trouble, perhaps a veggie one for Loki also." Tony told JARVIS to order the food. "I doubt he'll come down but you're welcome to break your back trying." Thor frowned.

"Is my brother unwell?" the god asked.

"More like he's having a very long period." Clint chuckled at that.

"Do Jotuns have periods?" the archer asked. Thor shifted uneasily.

"I am not sure. Asgard and Jotunheim rarely cross paths enough where we exchange differences of the anatomy." he answered. He was going to have to ask Loki about the matter later.

"So where have you been?" Tony asked. Thor sighed.

"There have been many things I had to straighten out with my father. I have only recently been given a break. So I have taken this chance to get away from Asgard and come visit Loki. How is he?" Thor asked again. Tony sighed.

"Still bitter as usual. But not as much. I've gotten him a few books though. At least that softened him up a bit." Thor seemed to lighten up at the mention of Loki improving.

"I think I shall go see him now. Perhaps my presence will raise his spirits." Thor said.

* * *

Loki sat in his room, reading one of the books that Tony had gotten him. The gesture had been a nice welcome to the tower, but he could still feel the wary eyes of the Avengers on him every time he went down to the communal floor of the tower to take his meals with them. His head jerked up as there was a flash in the distance; a long column of light reaching down from the sky. Then came the thunder.

He rolled his eyes as the sound grew louder. He knew what was coming now. He moved to close the window he was sitting next to, just in case rain came too.

"Brother! I have returned from Asgard with news!" Loki heard his brother exclaim, thirty minutes later as soon as he stepped out of the elevator. Loki gave up on reading his book and closed it. He set it down on the table nearest him and pulled on a robe to cover up his nakedness. Thor entered just as he was tying it closed. The other god didn't even seem to notice and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Hello Thor. I missed you too, even though I shouldn't because you abandoned me for almost a year. I should be angry with you but I am too bored to think of a way to punish you properly." he mumbled into Thor's shoulder.

"There was business the Allfather wished for me to take care of before I could even think about returning." He pulled back a bit.

"Why are you up here all alone brother? The others are on the Captain's floor about to enjoy a nice meal of pizza. Will you not join us?" Loki rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Pizza, really? It is nothing but a grease filled piece of bread with cheese and meat atop it. I will not pollute my body with such a monstrosity." Thor sighed, nuzzling Loki's neck. He ran his hands over the metal cuffs on his brother's wrists.

Odin had forced Loki to wear the magic restraints the moment he learned that Thor wanted to take Loki back to Midgard with him. He couldn't have any of Loki's mischief interfering with his plans now could he?

"Again, I am sorry Loki. There was absolutely no other way he would have let you leave that cell in Asgard." Thor told him. Loki sighed.

"I don't like pizza Thor." Loki said, changing the subject. Thor frowned, catching the hint.

"You have not even tried it yet. If you wish, then you can have the one that comes with vegetables. I took the liberty of having Anthony order that for you. If you do not want it then I can eat it." Thor offered. Loki groaned as he pushed his brother away and wrapped his arms around himself. He turned to the window, watching the rain fall outside.

"You know they do not like me. Not really." Thor groaned and wrapped his arms around Loki's hips from behind.

"_I_ like you." he said. Loki snorted.

"Of course you do. I let you have sex with me so you have to or I would not do it." Thor smiled against his brother's back.

"That is not all I love you for Loki." he said. Loki hummed, resting his palms against the cool window. Loki pressed his ass back into Thor's crotch.

"Show me." Loki commanded. Thor sighed.

"As you wish."

* * *

An hour later, Thor and Loki went down to Steve's floor. Everyone was already eating. Tony put his plate down and began clapping.

"Bravo Thor. You managed to pull the Pale Skinned Wombat from it's cave. Quiet everyone. It might scare." Thor laughed and clapped Loki on the back.

"See brother, I told you they did not hate you." Loki rolled his eyes, but, sat down and took a plate and a slice of pizza, setting it down on the table. Thor sat next to him and pulled his feet onto his lap.

"Looks like you two are working things out quite well." Clint observed from his perch on the counter. Thor smiled and Loki scowled, trying to pull his robe down.

"I hate you for this." Loki said gesturing to the bare skin of his thighs. Thor's smile widened.

"You could have at least let me put a pair of trousers on." Loki sulked as he crossed his legs.

"I really think we should tell them." Thor whispered, which was quite a feat for him.

Loki shook his head.

"Not yet." Loki growled. Tony fell onto the couch beside them. He wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders and pulled his head onto his chest.

"What are you two whispering about over here? Not another attempt to take over Midgard I hope." he said as Loki tried to push away from him.

"Stark you are ruining my hair." the god hissed. Thor smiled. "I believe I already did that." he said sheepishly. Loki kicked his thigh, still struggling.

"Anthony I think you should let me go so I may eat." Loki said. Tony huffed and ruffled Loki's hair.

"Your hair is really nice by the way." he said. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Thank you Anthony. Perhaps I just may let you braid it." the god said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. The inventor chuckled and stuffed the last of the pizza crust into his mouth. Loki sighed and accepted the plate of his veggie pizza Thor handed him.

"So who wants to play poker after this?" Tony asked. Everyone groaned.

However later that night, Thor reported that he had to return to Asgard for a few days to straighten out some things. Loki eyed the flashing pendant around his brother's neck. Apparently the Allfather had given him a summoning stone. How convenient.

* * *

"Everyone I have great news!" Thor shouted happily. Everyone turned to look at the blond god. Usually when Thor got excited about a piece of news he wanted to share, it involved all of them.

"What is it Hammer Time?" Tony asked, scotch in one hand and a burrito in the other. Loki eyed his brother curiously.

"It has been decided that a few of my friends will be visiting Midgard in a few days time." Thor beamed. Tony jumped up and down, careful not to spill anything.

"Hey! They can stay here! Oh this is gonna be so much fun. What do they like?" he asked. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Oh wonderful. More Asgardians. I can barely tolerate _you_ and now you wish to crowd me with more of your kind. How thoughtful." the Trickster scoffed. Thor shook his head and Clint just sighed into his hand.

"Who are these friends Thor?" the archer asked.

"You may have heard of them. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three."

On the couch Loki closed the book he had been reading with a sharp snap and sat up.

"Are you saying that _all_ of them will be...visiting?" he asked. Thor nodded enthusiastically. Loki's gaze hardened.

"Even Fandral? And Volstagg? Along with Sif _and_ Hogun?" he said slowly.

"Of course. They have even expressed their eagerness to see you again. I find it wonderful that our friends are so eager to allow me to share the wonders of Midgard with us."

Loki stood and straightened his clothes.

"I don't like Fandral." he hissed, brushing past the other god to get to the elevator. Thor frowned.

"What is the matter with Fandral? I do not understand. Ever since we were children you have disliked Fandral. What has he done to scorn you so?" Thor demanded. Loki whipped around, pointing a black, long-nailed finger into his chest.

"You do not know him like I do." he said. Thor stared at the intensity in his brother's eyes. Tears threatened to spill over his long, dark lashes, but, Loki blinked and they cleared away. Loki took a deep breath and took a step back. "Loki?" Thor whispered softly. Loki ignored him and continued on.

"Brother, wait! Please tell me what is wrong." he pleaded.

Loki stepped into the elevator and commanded JARVIS to take him to his floor. After he stepped out, he ordered that no one be allowed to step onto his floor without his permission.

"Mr. Laufeyson, I do not-" Loki glared up at the ceiling.

"I do not care what you think. You are but a simple machine. Do as you are bid." Loki snapped.

"Very well sir." the AI said before going quiet.

Loki went into his room and threw the book at the wall. It did not satisfy him in the least. He wished it was a dagger going into Fandral's heart instead. Loki threw himself onto his bed and closed his eyes.

As he lay there, he realized that tears were streaming from his eyes. He wiped them away furiously. He refused to show weakness. Especially now that he knew he was going to see Fandral again.

* * *

Thor sighed, trying to negotiate with JARVIS.

"What if I just go up and bring him some chocolate?" the god asked.

"Mr. Laufeyson does not desire anything at the moment. He says if he does then he will tell you to send up one of the robots Sir has built." Thor looked at Tony, who had a spoon sticking out of his mouth eting a large bowl of ice cream.

"Can you not override this?" the god asked desperately. Tony shrugged.

"I think you should just give Loki some privacy for now." the inventor advised. Thor squared his shoulders.

"That is not the question I asked you Man of Iron. Can you override the command?" Thor asked again. Tony sighed.

"Of course I can. JARVIS is _my_ AI. I just think that you should give him some time to cool off. That's all." Thor glared at him. Steve gripped his shoulder.

"I think you should listen to Tony." he said. Thor pressed his lips together.

"I feel I have done something wrong, but, I do not know what to do." the god said helplessly. Natasha sipped her pina colada.

"Maybe you should go out and get him something nice. Like an apology gift." she suggested. Thor looked at her.

"You truly think that would be a good idea?" he asked. Natasha shrugged.

"It works when Clint does it." She smiled at her secret/undecided/unofficial boyfriend. The man shrugged.

"Hey, if you're lover is mad at you, you have do what you have to do." he said. Thor froze.

"L-lover? How did you...?" The god glanced at the other people in the room.

"It's kinda obvious that you and Loki are having sex Thor." Clint told him. Tony stared at the god, burrito halfway to his mouth.

"Wait...you and Loki are having sex?" he cried. Thor looked at him worriedly.

"Would you not like us to do it in the tower?" he asked. Tony almost dropped his food.

"Am I hearing this correctly here?" he asked.

"You're screwing your brother. That's incest!" he exclaimed.

"Loki and I do not share a bloodline. And he is adopted." the god tried to explain. Tony gave an exasperated cry.

"But-but you guys were raised together! Brought up as brothers. You even say he's your brother!" he said. Thor sighed.

"It is...complicated." he told them after a long moment. Tony flopped back down into his seat.

"This is so messed up." he said into his hands that were covering his face.

* * *

Loki refused to come down from his floor for two days. And even then, it was to try and get Thor to reconsider having the warriors stay at the tower.

"Why not let them experience the wonders of a hotel?" the dark haired god asked. Thor shook his head.

"Stark has insisted they stay here. And besides that, I will not have my friends stay in a parasite ridden tavern." Loki glared at him.

"Fine then. But do not expect me to welcome them when they arrive on the morrow." he swore. Thor watched him march away, back to the elevator.

Natasha came out of the kitchen and sat in the chair he was standing next to.

"Do you think something happened back then to make him hate your friends?" she asked. Thor shook his head.

"I do not understand what has come over him. My friends have never been very fond of him because of his pranks, but he has never acted this way in the past. He's never liked them Especially Fandral, but...I do not know."

Natasha screwed the cap off her bottle of water and took a long drink.

"You want me to talk to him or something?" she asked. Thor was quiet for a long moment.

"Would you? I...it seems I just make him so angry when I bring up the subject. Perhaps he would trust you more because you are-" Natasha shot him a look.

"Don't you dare say it's because I'm a woman." she warned with a slight smile. Thor sighed.

"I was going to say that you are like him in many ways." he told her. She smiled and patted his arm.

"Don't worry Thor. Black Widow's got this in the bag."

* * *

Loki stiffened when he heard the elevator doors open.

"Thor I thought I told you to stay off of my floor. I thought I could trust you to control yourself bet apparently I shall have to ask JARVIS to bar you from my floor again. Leave now and I will not kill you." he growled. Natasha stepped into the bedroom.

"Well Thor was smart enough to heed your warning." she said with a smirk. Loki eyed her closely.

"Did he send you in his place then?" Natasha looked around the room, which was even more immaculate than hers, from the carefully placed furniture down to the scrolls stacked in the bookcases.

"I volunteered." she told him. Loki pulled his knees against his chest and laid his chin on the arms he crossed over them.

"Oh really? How considerate of you." he sneered. The spy ignored the tone of his voice. If she'd learned anything about the god, it was that he became harsh with his words and tone of voice when it came to emotional subjects. She sat down beside him and steeled herself.

"How did you get up here? JARVIS was supposed to keep everyone away." the god said. Natasha shrugged.

"I'm a spy Loki. It's what I do." she told him. He frowned.

"Look Loki, Thor's upset because you're upset. He just wants to know what's wrong here. And then you get mad and push him away-don't deny it Loki we've all been seeing it happen for the past week now." Loki stopped shaking his head.

"My quarrel does not lie with Thor, Lady Romanov." he said quietly. She sat down beside him under the window.

"Then where do they lie?" she asked. She barely heard it, but, Loki's breath hitched and his fingers gripped his elbows, the nails digging into skin.

"Loki?" she pushed gently.

"I do not wish to speak of my distresses with you. Ever. Now leave my sight. Your very being makes me ill." he snapped. Natasha stood gracefully and slowly walked from the room. She paused at the elevator.

"I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk about anything, you can come to me. I don't judge."

* * *

Thor looked up hopefully as she stepped from the elevator. She shook her head.

"I had thought so." he muttered. She gave a small smile.

"He just needs time to open up." she assured him. Thor nodded.

"I appreciate your attempt." the god told her. She poked his shoulder.

"No problem. I don't mind." she said. She disappeared into the kitchen for a snack. 'Maybe a nice glass of vodka.' she thought.

Tony greeted her as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Widow. Who did you kill this time?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"Hello Tony." she said dryly. The inventor huffed.

"How's things with Loki?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Why are you asking me?" she said. Tony sighed.

"Well I saw when Thor had you go and talk to the crazy god instead of going himself. What's up with that?" Natasha shook her head.

"It's none of your business Stark." The engineer feigned shock.

"Well I never..." he gasped. Natasha ignored him and gathered the necessary ingredients to make a sub.

"See you later Tony. I'll be up on my floor." she told him. He frowned.

"If you were going back to your floor, why'd you come down here and make yourself a sandwich? You have food on your floor you know." The spy shrugged.

"I ran out of pepperoni and jalapeno peppers." she said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" he said. She grinned.

"And steak." she added. "For Clint I'm guessing." he said. She nodded. Tony made a shooing motion with his hands.

"Go on. Clint's probably looking for you. Go feed the birdie before he starts pecking our eyes out." he said. She sighed and then left. Tony straightened and went out into the living room.

"Hey Thor! What has you looking so sad?" he asked. Thor glanced at the man, shaking his head.

"It is Loki. He is still upset. I sent the Lady Romanov to speak with him, but, he pushed her away. I do not know what else to do. Sif and the Warriors Three are already on their way tomorrow. I just do not see why he hates them so much." He covered his face with his hands. Tony patted his back.

"It's ok Thor. I'm sure he'll come around." Thor nodded. "I hope so Anthony. I cannot bear for this tension to continue to exist between Loki and my very best friends." Tony grunted unhappily. "I thought I was your best friend." he pouted. Thor let out a small laugh. "You are Man of Iron. One of my most treasured."

* * *

Thor embraced his friends as soon as they stepped from the light of the Bifrost.

"My friends! It is so nice to see you. Come. We shall share drink and eat. Then I will take you to many popular eateries. We shall celebrate until Ragnarok!" he proclaimed.

"Where is Loki? Will he not be joining us?" Fandral asked. Thor gripped the back of Fandral's neck and pulled him close.

"I know not where my brother is at the moment. Though I would have to guess that he is still in his chambers. He uh...was not too excited about the idea of you all visiting. He refuses to come down from his floor." Sif shook her head.

"Still arrogant as always." she muttered. Thor sighed.

"Come then. Do not let my brother's foul mood spoil our plans." the thunder god urged.

* * *

The Avengers hadn't seen Loki for three days now since the warriors came. He didn't bother them though. Not until the fourth day when he had JARVIS call down to Tony to ask for another bottle of scotch. The inventor simply rolled his eyes and remained where he sat.

"Tell him that if he wants it he's gonna have to come down and get it himself. This isn't Asgard. I'm not his fucking servant." JARVIS relayed this to the god.

Over in the corner, Fandral laughed. The man had claimed that he needed time to rest after partying with Thor two days straight all day and all night long. In reality, he was hiding from Sif, who had caught him flirting and kissing another woman. Apparently they were together.

"Finally someone who doesn't give in to that arrogant bastard's every whim. I commend you Man of Iron." he said. Tony raised his glass at him, not looking up from the gauntlet he was working on as the other man stood to go into the kitchen and refresh his own drink.

Twenty minutes later Loki stepped out of the elevator. He glared at Tony, but the engineer paid him no mind.

"There's scotch in the kitchen. And tequila." he offered. The god snorted and walked past him into the kitchen. He snarled at Tony when the man practically fondled him on the way past. The inventor looked up at him innocently.

Loki sighed and entered the kitchen. He opened the cabinet he knew where Tony kept his liquor on his floor. Since he was all out, he grabbed one of the many bottles of scotch inside, a bottle of tequila, bourbon and one of whiskey. He sighed and gathered the bottles in his arms.

"That sure is a lot of alcohol." Fandral said quietly. Loki froze, dropping the bottle of scotch he was holding. He spun around to face the other man. Fandral lifted his drink in greeting.

"Hello Loki. Long time no see huh?" The god backed away from him, not even grabbing another scotch bottle from the cabinet.

"What's going on in there?" Tony called from the living room. Fandral smiled.

"Nothing. Just a little accident. Clumsiness is all." he said. Loki glared at him.

"You know, I missed seeing you Loki. Perhaps we can...hang out as the mortals say. Get to know each other again. Like we used to."

Loki ran back to the elevator, ignoring Tony's cry of distress when he almost knocked over the project he was working on.

Loki dropped all but one of the bottles on his sofa and opened the last. He drank deeply from it, the alcohol burning his throat on its way down. He took a deep breath and placed it on the counter. He wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Is everything alright Mr. Laufeyson?" JARVIS asked. Loki shook his head and took another drink.

"No one comes up to my floor today JARVIS." he said. "Yes sir." the AI answered.

* * *

Fandral sighed and sat back down. Tony looked up at him.

"What's with you and Loki?" he asked. Fandral smiled.

"Why do you ask?" the warrior said. Tony shrugged.

"Loki just ran out of here like a bat out of hell." he told him. Fandral raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we had a dispute some centuries ago. We were...once romantically involved." he began slowly. Tony sat forward.

"You and Loki? No way." he said, shaking his head. Fandral laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked. Tony smiled.

"I just don't see you and him together. He's so...I mean he attacked New York. And he's insane." the engineer pointed out. Fandral sighed.

"He wasn't always like this. He was nice...once. I really don't know what happened. _Something_ happened obviously, but, he never told us anything about it. I was always good to him though." He drained the rest of his glass and slammed it down onto the table. Tony stared at it.

"He never appreciated my affections." Fandral said quietly. Tony sighed. "Well, that's what you get for dating a prince. From what I hear, most of them are snobs anyway." Fandral wiped his mouth, inhaling through his nose to clear his head.

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Fandral told him. Tony smiled. "Good luck." Fandral stood abruptly and went to the elevator. Once he was in he requested to go to Loki's chambers.

"I am sorry, but, Mr. Laufeyson has asked that no one be allowed onto his floor today." Fandral pinched the bridge of his nose and went back down to Tony's floor.

"What's the matter? He kick you out that fast?" the inventor asked. Fandral shook his head.

"Your machine said he's not letting anyone up." Tony frowned.

"Well that's not right. All the floors are supposed to be open. And you should be allowed to make up with him. No matter how mad he is." Fandral smiled.

"What will you do?" he asked. Tony grinned.

"How about when I get back from my business meeting next month, I'll arrange a nice dinner for you too. You both can go out somewhere nice and eat. You can talk a bit; fix things between you both." the inventor suggested. Fandral smiled.

"I think that would be excellent." the warrior said.

"Thank you Anthony Stark." he said.

"I will make sure Loki acknowledges me." he said.

"You better. I expect you and Loki to be curled up together on the sofa on the communal floor in two months." Fandral laughed.

"Well, I'll try."

* * *

**2 weeks later**

Tony sighed. He was in a business suit, standing in front of the mirror studying every inch of his appearance. Pepper had called him an hour ago, telling him not to be late for the meeting in Japan.

He gave himself another once-over before stepping away. He went to the elevator and rode down to the communal floor to check in on things. He didn't really like meetings. But, being the owner of a a billion dollar company required him to attend.

Steve greeted him with a smile when he entered the room.

"Hey Tony. Good luck at the meeting." the captain said. Tony grinned.

"As if they'd say no the the great Tony Stark." he huffed. He looked over at Thor who was trying to operate the toaster. He frowned.

"I really don't want to leave now." he said, pointing. Steve sighed.

"Thor be careful. Those _can_ catch fire and will if not handled properly." he said. Thor smiled and just nodded.

"Good day friend Stark. I wish you victory in your current battle." he said.

Tony sighed.

* * *

Bruce bit into his sandwich, watching the screen of molecules swim around. He glanced over at the arc reactor lying out.

Tony hadn't been able to make any more repairs to JARVIS since he'd had to leave for his business meeting. The machine was apparently a miniaturized version of it, connected to the main frame. It was quite careless of Tony to leave it out.

He sighed and reached out to grab it so he could put it away.

Everything happened in slow motion.

His drink spilled and spread across the table. It reached the arc reactor and the device fizzed and began to make worrisome crackling noises. Then the lights went out and the tower went into Emergency Power Mode.

"Uh oh."

* * *

Natasha sighed as she got up. The lights had cut off suddenly and the power had shut down.

"BANNER!" she yelled. She was going to kill that man.

* * *

Clint cursed as he made his way to the elevator. Who knew that the tower went into complete lock down when the main power core shut down?

"JARVIS open the elevator." he said. No response.

"JARVIS?" he asked. Shit. The AI was down too. Oh well at least they had stairs too. And vents. Thank God for the vents.

* * *

The Avengers all met up on Steve's floor. The Captain himself was lighting candles in the dark room.

"Alright so apparently the power went out and the back up power is booting up. Why don't we all just stay here until things improve ok?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"But what of Loki? And my friends? Should they not also be accompanying us?" Thor asked. Steve shrugged and Clint snorted.

"I say let Loki stay where he is for now. He's not doing any harm right? And you're friends are warriors. Surely a little darkness won't hurt them. Ok?" Thor nodded slowly.

"Alright. I trust you friends." he said.

* * *

When the lights went out, Loki had been reading quite a good book. He sighed.

"JARVIS I command that you turn the lights back on." Nothing happened.

Loki hadn't been expecting there to be a secret staircase he didn't know about in the living room near the fireplace. He was surprised when he heard a door slide open and someone step out. Thinking it to be Natasha since she could so easily bypass Stark's protocols, he turned to greet her, and then tell her to go away. He did not expect it to be Fandral.

The god scrambled off the couch and onto the floor. Fandral watched him, eyes shining with amusement.

"Hello Loki." he said. Loki stared at him.

"L-leave my floor. Now." the god commanded. Fandral smiled and walked around the sofa. He sat down, crossing his legs and leaning back, ignoring the god.

"You were quite rude to me on Stark's floor. You know that?" he said quietly. Loki swallowed.

"Fandral, please...just leave." Loki said, voice shaking. The warrior smiled.

"You remember when we used to have so much fun?" he asked. Loki blinked back tears.

"Those times...weren't fun for me." he choked out. Fandral sighed.

"Don't lie Loki. You know I hate it when you try to deceive me." Fandral snarled. He stood, making Loki drag himself away from him.

"Don't move." Fandral ordered. Loki felt his body freeze against his will. The man was getting angry now. He knew from experience that things would end very badly for him if he disobeyed him while he was like this. There'd be even less punishment if he didn't.

Loki closed his eyes as Fandral ran a hand over his face.

"You've always been so very pretty." he whispered. Loki said nothing as his hand traveled down to his neck.

"You know how this works Loki." he said. Loki sobbed openly as his clothes were removed by force.

"Please Fandral...don't." he begged. Fandral smiled, groaning.

"Say my name again." he ordered. Loki ground his teeth together, staying quiet. Fandral grunted and gripped his hair, pulling painfully. Loki began to cry harder.

"F-Fand-dral...please." he sobbed. Loki tried to pull away from the other man as his clothes were removed. "Please..." he said again.

Fandral forced him to bend over the kitchen counter.

"You know you love this Loki." he whispered. He leaned close to Loki's ear.

"Where do you keep the lubricant?" he asked softly. Loki let out a choked gasp.

"I-I d-don't have an-any." he said. Fandral smiled.

"Well this is going to be a very painful experience for you now isn't it?" Tears spilled from the god's eyes.

"I have...oil." he said brokenly. Fandral smiled.

"Come on then and find it. We'll need it." He yanked Loki up by his hair and pushed him ahead. Loki went toward his bedroom. His legs were shaking so badly, he tripped over the rug on the floor. Using this to his advantage, Loki spun around and elbowed Fandral in the face. He hit him again so that he would fall to his knees and ran to the elevator, grabbing his pants on the way. Fandral cursed, wiping his bloody nose. He tackled Loki to the floor, pinning him there.

"You little bitch! After all I have given you, you _dare_ to strike me? You're so lucky I want to fuck you more than I want to punish you. Now get up. Try anything else and I'll break your fucking neck." he growled. He forced Loki into his bedroom and threw him onto the bed. He kept an eye on the god as he opened all of the god's drawers, looking for the mentioned oil. He smiled when his hand brushed against a hard shape.

"Oh Loki, you little slut." He held up the dildo, grinning. Loki turned his face away, his face burning with shame. Fandral finally found the oil and then stripped himself of his clothing. He climbed onto the bed on top of Loki. He kicked the god's legs apart and slicked his fingers before forcefully shoving a finger up Loki's anus. The god cried out in pain, the sound muffled against the pillow.

"Shhh. Don't worry Loki. You'll enjoy this soon." Fandral crooned. Loki sobbed as another finger was added and he felt himself being scissored open. After the addition of the forth finger, Fandral removed his hand and lined his slicked up cock up with Loki's entrance. Loki tensed as he shoved in, biting back his cry of pain. He would not give the bastard the satisfaction of hearing him scream.

After what seemed like forever, Loki finally felt Fandral spill into him, hearing the telltale groan above him. He unclenched his muscles in relief. It was finally over. He heard the other man stand and search for his clothes.

"Tomorrow night I expect you to be more compliant."

Loki cried for the rest of the night.

* * *

Thor greeted Fandral as he stepped out of the elevator.

"Where have you been friend?" the blond thunder god boomed. Fandral smiled.

"I was speaking with your brother. We...straightened some things out." he said. He grabbed a bottle of water and took a long drink from it.

"I think we're good now."


	2. The Fear Loki Tried To Hide

**Author's Note:** So over on ao3, people have been wondering why JARVIS did nothing to help Loki, and I am sure that there have been others over here wondering the same.

So basically I put in the first fic, that Tony assumed that Fandral and Loki were ex-lovers and he seemed to think that Fandral was going up to see Loki to rekindle their romance, AKA sexual acts, and he thought that they should have some privacy. In my head, JARVIS somehow always records the goings on in the tower unless Tony says not to. And Tony is also not a perv in this fic sooo...

That's what went on in my head. I changed it a bit by the way. Also put a small summary of what I changed at the top in case anyone didn't want to reread the entire thing again. Yor're welcome!

ENJOY!

* * *

Loki stayed in the shower for the rest of the day. No matter what, he still he couldn't wash away the filthy feeling he felt. He huddled on the shower floor, shaking. Fandral was coming back tonight. He knew that much.

'Why hadn't JARVIS warned him?' he thought. Loki slipped out of the water and curled up on his bed naked. He couldn't bring himself to sully his clean clothes by placing them upon his skin.

"JARVIS..." he said. "Yes Mr. Laufeyson?" the AI replied pleasantly. Loki closed his eyes at the tone of the voice. It was too cheerful for how he felt right now.

"Where were you?" he asked. "I do not understand the question sir." the AI said.

"Did you not witness my distress last night? When Fandral... when he..." Loki shoved his fist between his teeth and bit down as hard as he could. He ignored the metallic taste of his blood.

"Mr. Laufeyson, would you like me to get you medical assistance?" JARVIS asked. Loki yelled and threw one of his pillows at the ceiling.

"You are completely useless! I was being...he hurt me and you did nothing!" the god snarled. The AI was quiet.

"Would you like me to speak to Mr. Stark? He is currently on a plane to Japan for a business meeting. I had to notify him of a malfunction in my systems. I am sure he will not mind speaking with you." Loki wiped the blood on the sheets and stood. He ran his hands through his still wet hair.

"I think I am going to take another shower."

* * *

"Hey kiddies." Tony's voice came in over the speakers. Natasha looked up at the image of the inventor projected across all of the screens in the room.

"Hello Tony." she said. He nodded and looked at everyone else in the room.

"JARVIS told me what happened. I managed to make a few repairs from here, but, the system isn't gonna be anywhere near as good as it was without me actually there to fix it." He looked over in Bruce's direction.

"From now on, no more drinks or food in the lab. Can't afford to have any more accidents while I'm gone now can we?" he asked. Bruce smiled and nodded. Tony grinned and clapped his hands together.

"Well then. Make sure you guys are careful from now on. The version of JARVIS currently running is just a basic one. No complex commands or anything. You'll just have to get off your lazy asses and get shit yourselves. And you should probably take the stairs from now on. Don't know if the elevators will work as well without JARVIS up and running. But you're welcome to try them." he advised.

Before he logged off he had a sudden thought.

"Hey, how's Loki doing?" he asked. Natasha shrugged.

"He's the same as usual. Only he refuses to come down from his floor." she explained. Tony sighed.

"Damn. Harder than I thought it would be." he groaned. She frowned.

"What?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Nothing important. Bye for now."

The screen went back to the show it had been on before Tony called them. Natasha looked at the men around her.

"So...anyone wanna go check on Loki?" she asked sweetly. Everyone scattered in an instant when she said that. She sighed.

"Oh well. I might as well look up what may be causing Loki to become so distant."

* * *

_Athazagoraphobia – the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced._

Natasha closed the book, tapping her nails across the hard cover. She looked up as Bruce calmly came out of the elevator. He looked around, then frowned.

"JARVIS tell Clint to get down to the lab right now. I've got this amazing idea for a new bow!" the man exclaimed. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"JARVIS...is everything in place in case of an emergency?" she asked.

"Because of my limited abilities, I am limited in what I can do. However, I will certainly try my best to make sure what happened last time does not happen again." the AI answered. She nodded and took the elevator up to Loki's floor. Maybe he was feeling better this morning.

"Loki?" she called out. She frowned at the broken glass and the wrinkled and ripped clothes on the floor. Usually the god ws very- if somewhat annoyingly- neat.

Loki walked out of his bedroom, wearing a large black hoodie and black sweatpants. His long hair hung wetly across his forehead and he brushed it back, seemingly not caring that water was dripping down his face and back.

"Lady Romanov...I- I was not expecting you so early. Excuse my attire. I just stepped out of the shower." he told her. He shifted nervously before offering her a seat.

"You seem...different today. Something wrong?" she asked him. He shook his head and picked up the open liquor bottle on the table. He took a long drink before he looked at her. "A little early to be drinking isn't it?" she asked. She lifted her hands when he glared at her.

"I'm not judging. Just saying eat something first. It's bad to drink on an empty stomach." she said. His eyes narrowed.

"How do you know I have not eaten yet?" he asked. She smiled.

"Who eats breakfast before showering?" she countered. He frowned and leaned back, taking another swig. She held her sigh in.

"Are you and Thor having problems? You wanna talk about it?" she asked. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but, closed it.

"No. It's nothing." he said. She nodded slowly.

"Ok. You just wanna sit here and drink until Clint and Bruce fall asleep then? We can go and paint their faces when they do." she said. He smiled, looking up at the clock.

"You would tolerate my company for that long?" he asked. She grinned.

"I've lasted this long haven't I?" He nodded slowly.

She stood and pulled out a rather large bag from her pocket.

"Now...let me ask you a question." He nodded for her to continue.

"What do you know of marijuana?"

* * *

When Fandral stepped out of the elevator, he stared at the two people giggling and laughing on the floor. Natasha was holding up her game controller swinging it back and forth.

"You're getting sleepy...close your eyes and and when you awake you will squeak like a gerbil." They both burst out laughing. Natasha rolled over and started giggling when her eyes landed on Fandral.

"Oh my god! It's Frandal! Look Fandy! I'm teaching Loki about...about hypnotism." the spy said proudly.

"You wanna try?" she asked, her voice slurring a bit. The warrior shook his head and stared down at Loki. The god was no longer laughing, nor smiling.

"I think it would be best if you leave now Lady Romanov." he said slowly. She sat up.

"Whaaa...what time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. Fandral sighed.

"Much past the time you should be up here. Loki and I need to talk." he told her. She nodded and moved to stand. Loki grabbed her ankle.

"Anything that needs to be said can be discussed in front of Miss Romanov." he said. Fandral scoffed.

"No...I do not think that will be possible. These matters are much more delicate. They are private matters of Asgard. You wouldn't want the Allfather to find out that you've shared a few family secrets with a Midgardian woman now would you, Loki?" He smiled when Loki began to loosen his grip on Natasha's ankle. He continued.

"But, if I must discuss them in front of her, then I will have to take precautions to make sure she does not reveal what is going to be discussed today." the warrior said. Loki swallowed.

"You ok Loki?" Natasha asked. He nodded.

"I think you should...go." he said quietly.

"Are you sure?" she slurred. He nodded slowly.

"Just go...please." he begged.

She nodded and staggered to the elevator.

"Call me if you need anything Loki." she said over her shoulder. He watched her go, dreading the moment that the elevator doors closed. Fandral moved to stand over him.

"You know your place bastard. You have five minutes to prepare yourself." Loki stood and felt his way to the bedroom. He was too intoxicated to see straight. He was glad he had gotten so inebriated with Natasha because he couldn't feel his body. At least his time with Fandral wouldn't be as painful this time.

When Fandral entered the bedroom, Loki was sprawled out on top of the bedspread. He stared up at the ceiling, watching the dizzying designs of the runes he'd had Tony add to his room. He briefly wondered where the inventor was. He forced himself to stay still as Fandral climbed on top of him.

"Are you going to be a good boy for me tonight?" the man asked. Loki turned his head away. Fandral's treatment of him over the years was humiliating enough. Now he had to rub in his conquest. Fandral huffed and gripped his chin.

"Don't ignore me Loki." he growled, slapping the god sharply across the face. Loki closed his eyes, willing the tears to go away.

"Are you going to be good for me?" Fandral asked again. Loki nodded.

"Yes." he choked out. Fandral smiled and slid out of his clothes.

"You've always been so good for me. So willing." Fandral kissed along his neck and Loki tried not to shudder in disgust.

"And I've always been so good to you too. I never understood why you ignored me for so long."

Loki jerked under him.

"You weren't worth my time." he snarled. Fandral sat up, glaring down at him.

"Really? I seem to recall you enjoying sharing my bed at night. You liked it. I know you did." Loki glared at him.

"That is not true. I never enjoyed it when you snuck into my room. You always told me to be quiet. So Thor wouldn't hear us. You were always so secretive when you did it. You knew that if Thor found out that you'd been raping me, he would have killed you." Loki sneered. He gasped when Fandral wrapped an hand around his throat.

"You were a whore. You still are. Do not blame me because I didn't believe you when you said you were pregnant. You're a liar...a trickster. Anyone would have been doubtful."

He smiled as Loki wriggled under him, trying to pull away.

"You always wanted me. You were always trying to seduce me." he growled, biting the god's neck. Loki let out a cry of pain when the skin broke. Fandral grinned and licked away the blood welling up around the wound.

"You were always so good for me."

* * *

Natasha groaned as the sound of _Die MF Die_ reached her ears. She lifted her head to look at the clock. _2:30 am_. She sighed, reaching for her phone.

It slipped from the table to the floor when she over reached and her hand unbalanced it from the edge it was teetering on. After a long struggle of untangling herself from the covers, she snatched it off of the floor and pressed the _answer_ button on the screen.

"What?" she snarled into the mouth piece. Fury sighed on the other end of the phone.

"Why am I being told there was a power shortage in Stark's tower?" he asked. Natasha groaned.

"Sir, it's 2 in the morning." she pointed out.

"Agent Romanov, please answer the question." he told her.

"Bruce spilled something on a mini arc reactor thingy. It powers the tower you know. Water and electrical appliances definitely do not mix well. After Tony made some minor repairs from Japan, everything was fine." she explained. Maybe she'd just...close her eyes for a moment.

"Romanov! What are you doing. I asked you a question." Natasha snapped awake.

"What is it sir?" she asked.

"Where is everyone else? Loki is still secure isn't he?" Natasha sighed.

"Loki is still secure. And everyone else is on their own floor I presume. Now is there anything else you need sir?"

"No Romanov. Just keep me up to date on Loki." he ordered. Natasha nodded.

"Alright sir. Good night." she said, preparing to hang up.

"Romanov?" he said.

"Hmm? What do you need sir?" she asked.

"It's actually morning."

* * *

Clint groaned, rolling off the desk. He fell onto the floor with a dull thud.

"Hey. You're up. Great. I- I uh...think there's some progress." Bruce said. Clint peaked up at him from his position on the floor. The scientist had apparently had too much coffee this morning. And last night.

"Bruce...I'm tired." he complained. The doctor smiled, twitching a bit.

"I know. I know. Get up, get up, get up. I'm still not finished with you yet." Clint sighed and got to his feet.

"Just hurry it up." he growled.

* * *

Loki curled against the edge of the bed as Fandral slipped out of it. He watched the man stretch before picking up his clothes and pulling them on.

"I'm going to take a shower. You're welcome to join me." he offered. Loki hid his face under the covers. Fandral sighed.

"Alright. Be that way. But, I expect you downstairs on the communal floor today. I want to show you off a bit." He saw Loki's head move which he took for a nod.

The god listened to the sound of the shower, not moving until it cut off. Fandral came out of the bathroom thankfully clothed. He dried his hair and then tossed the towel onto the bed.

"Get up Loki. You can't sleep all day. I know last night was tiring, but, that's just how it is."

Loki sat up and swung his lags over the side of the bed. He could feel Fandral's eyes on him as he stood, still naked.

"It's not polite to stare." he said quietly. Fandral laughed.

"Well how can I help myself when I have such a beautiful creature to stare at all day long." Loki went into the bathroom and closed the door. When he came out, Fandral was gone.

* * *

"Good morning Fandral." Steve greeted, flipping the pancakes in the pan. The warrior smiled, running his fingers through his hair.

"Good day Captain. I trust you slept well?" he asked. Steve nodded.

"I did. And you?" he asked in return. Fandral's grin widened.

"Well...I've always found that I sleep better with someone else in my bed if you know what I mean." He laughed when Steve began to blush.

"I think it is good to know that yourself and the Lady Sif have finally made up." he said. Fandral sighed.

"Well...not quite. But, we are getting there." he said. Just then the elevator opened and Natasha and Thor strode out, looking as if they just got out of bed, which they did by the way.

"Has anyone spoken to Loki lately? I have not seen him in a week now. I wish to talk to him and see what is wrong." Fandral patted his shoulder.

"Perhaps it is time you give your brother some space. I talked to him last night and it sounded as if...well you know how I always hate to be the one to bear bad news, but, he thinks your presence is smothering. He just wants to be left alone for a bit." Thor nodded slowly.

"You have spoken to him?" Thor asked. Fandral nodded.

"I have. Just give him a bit of space. That's all. I'm sure he'll come around." the warrior advised.

Natasha stared at the man next to Thor. She rather liked Fandral, but, she just didn't have a good feeling about him.

"Really Fandral? Are you sure he was in his right mind when he was saying this?" she asked. The man glanced in her direction, visibly annoyed.

"Yes. He told me everything last night." he insisted. Natasha eyed him.

"He was quite intoxicated when I left. Perhaps you should talk to him yourself Thor. Get everything from the horse's mouth." Thor nodded.

"Yes. I will speak to him immediately." he declared, going to the elevator. Natasha smiled when Fandral glanced at her.

'Ha.' Natasha thought. 'Now try to break up Loki and Thor's relationship, you jealous bastard.'

* * *

Loki stepped out of the shower, still dripping wet. He stared at himself in the full length mirror in his bedroom.

There were dark bruises on his hips, neck and a one under his eye. He could cover up the ones on his face with makeup. Wearing more hoodies would hide the ones on his neck and it wasn't as if anyone would see the ones on his hips unless he were naked. But, Thor...the god was probably anxious to see him. They hadn't seen each other for a few weeks now.

He sighed and pulled on a pair of pants and another hoodie. He looked terrible, he knew. But, he didn't really care. He went over and got into the elevator.

"JARVIS take me to the Captain's floor." he said tiredly. He sighed when there was no response. The stairs then. He almost bumped into Thor on his way out who had been about to come up the stairs himself to see Loki.

"Brother! I was just on my way to see you. Why have you been avoiding me for so long Loki?" the god asked. Loki could feel Fandral's eyes burning his skin.

"Leave me alone Thor. I am feeling unwell today." he said. He pushed past his brother and went into the kitchen to sit down.

In truth, Loki didn't feel well. More like disgusted with himself, that he would even allow himself to take pleasure in seeing Thor when he didn't even deserve it. He accepted the glass of orange juice Steve slid to him and sipped it in silence. Fandral sat down next to him.

"Is everything alright, Loki?" he asked pleasantly. Loki resisted the urge to break the glass and slit the man's throat.

"I'm fine." he growled. He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat when Fandral wrapped his arm around his waist. Fandral urged Loki to lay his head on his shoulder, but, the god resisted. Loki forced himself to ignore the hurt look on Thor's face when he sat down at the table.

"Since when have you both become so close?" he asked. Loki stared at the space next to his brother's head, quiet. Fandral smiled.

"We are but friends Thor. I am sure that if Loki is looking for a lover he would have found one by now." Thor swallowed.

"It would seem so." he said quietly, staring at them both. Loki continued to avert his eyes, his face burning with shame. He knew he couldn't tell Thor now. He didn't think the situation would end well.

Steve came over from the stove carrying a large stack of pancakes.

"Who wants more breakfast?" he asked cheerfully, trying to make light of the uncomfortable atmosphere of the kitchen. No one said anything, so he placed the plate in the middle of the counter for them to help themselves. Thor put two on his empty plate and ate them slowly, still staring at Loki as he ate. After he finished, Thor stood abruptly and left the room.

Loki stared down at his untouched plate of food. He suddenly felt sick. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Fandral watching him. Loki swallowed the bile in his mouth and poured some syrup onto his pancakes. He cut a piece off and stuffed it into his mouth, hoping the sweet taste would overpower the bitterness in his mouth and make the sick feeling go away. It didn't, but, he still forced himself to eat.

Clint stepped out of the elevator, rubbing his hands together at the delicious smells coming from the kitchen.

"I smell pancakes and sausage. Please tell me that there's enough left for me." he said. Steve smiled and nodded.

"Good morning Clint. Help yourself. Thor wasn't really feeling well so he didn't eat as much as he usually does so there's plenty." Clint fist pumped the air and rushed over to prepare himself a plate.

"Had a pretty weird encounter with Thor this morning though. I saw the guy a few minutes ago." he said, stuffing a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. Everyone's attention was peaked now and they listened to him while they ate.

"He said he wanted to burrow a pair of my hunting knives. With the way he was looking at me, I was afraid to say no. I just hope he takes care of them. They were kinda my favorites." He cut a piece of sausage and dipped it in the syrup. Bruce shuddered.

"That looks disgusting." he said. Clint shrugged.

"Tastes good to me." he said, taking another bite. Bruce shook his head and spread some organic preservatives onto his french toast. The archer eyed Loki.

"So...I'm guessing you're the reason why Thor was upset." he observed. Loki glared at him, but, said nothing. The room was suddenly quiet again. Clint continued.

"I miss something?" he asked, looking around. Loki took a sip of water to occupy his listless hands. He prayed that Clint would just stop talking.

"What happened? Usually you're all snarky and shit. What happened to that?" Clint pressed. Loki wiped his mouth. He threw down his napkin and stood.

"Thank you Captain for the delicious meal but I am afraid I am feeling a bit under the weather. Excuse me." he said. Clint watched him as he walked away.

"Well...that was weird." he said nonchalantly. Natasha shook her head.

"Why do you always have to do that, Clint?" she asked. He glanced at her, picking at his food.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. She rolled her eyes.

"You always have to pick a fight with Loki, Clint. Just let him be sometimes." He groaned, running a hand over his face. He dropped his empty plate onto the counter.

"You know Loki's a bastard. I don't care if he has been supposedly rehabilitated. He's still the same Loki that attacked New York in my eyes." He went back to the elevator and got in to go up to his room. Natasha sighed. "I better go talk to him." she said, getting up. "Who? Clint?" Bruce asked. She smiled.

"No. Loki."

* * *

As soon as he reached his floor, Loki tore off his clothes and stepped into the shower. Sitting next to Fandral for that length of time, even if it was short, made him feel unclean. He scrubbed at his skin mercilessly. Even after, he still didn't feel clean enough.

"Loki! You ok?" he heard Natasha call from the elevator. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. It slipped to the floor, out of his reach. He let out a small cry of anger as he lost his balance and slipped. "Loki?" Natasha called. Loki struggled to keep his voice as calm as possible.

"I'm fine. I just...I need a moment." he told her, voice still wavering.

Outside, Natasha gave a small nod.

"Ok. You wanna talk about what's eating you? You know...after you get out." she suggested. Loki crouched down in the shower, shaking his head. He took a deep breath. He couldn't stop shaking.

"I can't...I don't know what to do anymore." he said brokenly. Natasha perked up.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. Loki gasped, his chest feeling as if it were about to explode.

"Every time he looks at me...I feel sick." he forced out. Natasha took a step toward the bathroom.

"Are you ok?" she asked worriedly. She tensed when she heard him begin to sob from inside the room.

"Loki?" she asked.

"Loki, you don't sound too good. I'm coming in ok." she warned. When she got no response, she steeled herself and pushed the door open.

The god was curled up on the floor of the shower, shaking uncontrollably. His lips were moving but he was speaking too quietly for her to hear at that distance. She moved to pick up the towel and held it out to him. "You look like you need help." she said quietly. He flinched when she came closer.

"Please don't...don't hate me. I-I always told him to stop, b-but, he never listened. He was always s-s-so much stronger than me. I-it wasn't my fault. Please don't hate me." he sobbed.

"Please, please, please." he cried, rocking back and forth. Natasha swallowed. It was disturbing to see the god like this. She had never even thought it possible for him to be in such a vulnerable position after New York.

"Can you stand?" she asked gently. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he shivered. She took that as a no and spread the towel out over him. "C'mon. Let's get you nice and dry. Maybe them you'll feel a bit better." He jerked when she touched him, beginning to cry harder.

She grunted when she tried to pull him up. He was resisting her, therefore much heavier.

"Loki...I'm trying to help you. Please let me help you into bed." After a few more minutes of coaxing, she finally got him to stand up and wrap the towel around him. She was surprised at how well endowed he was. 'He truly _is_ a god.' she thought. She pushed the thought from her head. Loki seemed really upset right now and she couldn't afford to be distracted.

She stepped out of the bathroom, not caring if they trailed water everywhere. Not at the moment anyway. She'd clean it up later.

She led Loki to the bed and had him sit down. She grabbed another towel from the bathroom and came back to dry Loki off. She frowned at the bruises and other injuries littering his body with a furrowed brow. As she worked, the god kept trying to curl into a ball, so she made quick work of it. When she was done, he curled up into a tight ball, sobbing.

She sat down next to him and reached out to stroke his hair. He seemed to calm at this so she didn't stop. After he stopped shaking and came back to himself, he sat up, refusing to look at her.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked. He shook his head. She nodded and stood.

"Wait." he said quietly. She turned back to the god.

"Yes?" she asked. He drew his knees up to his chest and stared at her feet.

"Why are you up here?" he asked. She sighed.

"You were upset. I'm sorry Clint was such a jerk, ok. He's like that sometimes." she said. He nodded.

"He had nothing to do with what happened." he said quietly. She sat down.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" she urged. He looked at her for a long time before answering.

"No...I am sure. And please, don't tell anyone of this." he told her. Without looking at her, he spoke again.

"Tell Barton that I am truly sorry for using the Tessaract on him. I had no choice. I could have killed him to get it to the Other. I would have."

She nodded and left the bedroom. She paused for a few moments, listening for any sings of distress. When she heard none, she went to the elevator. She pressed the down button and waited. After five minutes, nothing happened. She cursed. She was going to have to take the stairs back down to the communal floor now.

'Damn Bruce and his spilled tea.' she thought as she reached the bottom of the stairs, breathing heavily.

* * *

Clint looked up at her as she entered the room.

"Hey babe. How was Queen of Green?" he asked around a spoonful of chocolate ice cream. She glared at him.

"You know Clint, perhaps you can be a lot nicer to him. You're not the only one the Tessaract messed with. Loki was affected by it too." she said. He stared down at his ice cream.

"How do you know?" he asked. She crossed her arms.

"Because I just talked to him. Long story short, he said he's sorry for using the Tessaract on you." Clint looked down at his ice cream.

"Maybe you should just talk to him sometime." she suggested. He grimaced and put his bowl down.

"No thank you." he grumbled, walking out of the room. Natasha sighed. She'd go and check on Loki in the morning. Maybe she'd bring more weed to share.

* * *

Loki sighed and searched through his drawers for a clean pair of clothes to put on.

He had almost told Natasha his secret tonight. Almost. He couldn't risk it getting back to Thor. Thor would surely kill Fandral if he ever found out. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let his brother live with the shame if this ever became public in Asgard.

He shook his head. Thor would never forgive him.

"Awww. Are you planning to retire early? I was really hoping to have a bit of fun." Loki froze. 'No.' he thought, struggling to reign in his panic. 'Please, Norns not tonight.' he begged.

Fandral wrapped his arms around Loki from behind and pulled him close. Loki sobbed quietly when the man nibbled his ear.

"You know I love you right?" he said. Loki turned his face away from Fandral's affections.

"Please...not tonight. I'm just so tired." the god moaned. Fandral laughed.

"Well, you don't have to do anything. Just let me do all the work." he said. Loki tried to pull away from him.

"No, stop. This cannot go on. It mustn't." Loki gave a silent sigh of relief when he felt Fandral's body leave his. He wasn't expecting the sharp slap that came next.

"You think to tell me what is best? You who is nothing more than a bastard Jotun runt?" Fandral hit him again, harder this time.

"Get on the bed. I think we will try something different tonight." Loki's blood turned to ice.

He hated it when Fandral wanted to try new things in bed. It was never for his benefit.

* * *

Natasha sighed as she got to the last few steps. Damn Loki for living at almost the top floor of Stark's Tower. And damn Tony for allowing it. She stopped to catch her breath before she went in.

Loki was sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the front of the sofa, sitting stiller than she thought possible for any being, god or not. He didn't even seem to blink. He was paler than usual she noticed. He didn't even seem to notice she was there. She came around the side, holding her already prepared joint out as a peace offering.

"Hey Loki." she said quietly. He swallowed as she sat down.

"Wanna have some fun?" she asked. He eyed the bag and extra rolling paper.

"I figured after last night you could use something to relax." She held her breath as his green eyes widened.

"What do you know of last night?" he asked. She leaned away from him.

"Well I mean you were pretty shaken up after I helped you out of the shower. Don't you remember? I didn't tell anybody. I swear. I just told Clint that you didn't mean to use the Tessaract the way you did on him." she explained. Loki calmed a bit, visibly less tense.

"So...wanna get baked?" she asked. He nodded slowly.

"Would it be possible to make this substance stronger?" he asked. She nodded.

"Well, there are different types of marijuana, each with different strengths. Later I can see if I can get some. But for now, this is the strongest I've got." she said. He nodded and she lit the joint.

With in the hour, they were both rolling around on the floor, giggling. Suddenly, Loki stopped. He began to cry hysterically.

"Loki? Loki what's wrong?" Natasha asked.

"I- I can't do it any more! I can't. I've kept it in for so long. Please don't think less of me, but, I must tell someone." he said. Natasha moved closer.

"What's going on? I thought we were having fun." she said. He nodded.

"We were. But...I just...there is something I must tell you. I have a terrible secret and it is eating me away inside. I must tell someone. Please let me tell you." he begged. She nodded.

"What is it?" she asked. Tears continued to stream down his face as he refused to look at her.

"You mustn't tell Thor. Or anyone else. Especially not Thor. He would be so angry. He would never look at me the same way ever again. I prefer the way he looks at me now, thinking I cheat on him with Fandral, to the way he would if he knew. I can't bear the thought of losing him because of what I did." he said. He paused, shaking a bit.

"You must promise me you will tell no one." he said. Natasha nodded.

"Of course. I swear." She took a deep breath and held out a newly rolled joint.

"Do you need to calm down a bit before you start?" she asked. He nodded and took it without another word. She lit it for him and watched as he inhaled deeply before handing it back. He closed his eyes as he exhaled.

"What I am about to tell you must not pass through your lips for any reason. I do not know what I would do if you did not keep your word, but I assure you it would not be pleasant." he cautioned. Natasha nodded.

"Your secret can't be that bad...can't it? I mean nothing worse than what I've done right?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Loki took a deep breath, not answering. After several long moments, he spoke. With the way he was acting, Natasha feared what she was about to hear.

"When it first happened, I was but a boy of seven."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ha! Bet you're like: Why did you stop there? Come on! You are a terrible person.

Don't worry. The next fic in this series will be posted in a couple of weeks. I'm a slow typer and typing 5-6k words takes me a while. Until then, enjoy this!

;)

Just so you know, I will be changing the name on this series from 'Tortures of A Broken Mind' to 'Fears of A Broken Mind'. I know, I know. It's just one word. Blah, blah, blah. But it's been bugging me for weeks now because it's such a perfect title for this series. And I am also thinking of making another series and naming it 'Tortures of A Broken Mind' so it will be a sister series to this one. Maybe.

So with that said, I will be changing it in two weeks. I don't know if this will affect the way it is saved to your bookmarks or not so I think that will be enough time for you to save this somewhere before I change the name. If you don't get to it, just look for my name. Hope you're all enjoying this series so far. I sure do enjoy writing it even if it is a bit sad.

;)


	3. The Fear Loki Didn't See

**Author's Note:** So basically this fic is mostly just Loki telling Natasha what happened between him and Fandral when they were younger. Just one big memory sequence with Loki stopping a few times to explain things.

Also, I am still not satisfied with this chapter, but I either post it now...or you wait another 2-3 weeks for it to be finished. Just seems a bit too long to me. But, can't decide what to take out. So? Eh? Who likes this compromise? Promise if I have any new ideas, I will put a AN in the next chapter telling you that I have made a few changes to the chapter.

;)

* * *

"I wish for you to capture this on one of your Midgardian recording devices." Loki said, taking a sip of his whiskey. Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"I do not wish to repeat this to anyone and if this should get out, I will deny it with every ounce of magic in my being." She nodded and pulled her cell phone from her pocket.

"No matter what, you mustn't let Thor hear it. Never." he said and she nodded without question, seeing the depth of pain in his eyes. She opened the recording app and spoke into the microphone, saying the date before she set it between them.

"Whenever you're ready Loki." she said. He took a deep breath as he picked up his discarded joint.

"As I was saying...I was seven when I first met Fandral."

* * *

_Loki looked up from the book he was reading, glaring at Thor for interrupting his reading. He sat in his chambers reading the spell book his mother had given him to study for tomorrow's magic lesson. Thor was in an excited mood for some reason._

_"Brother! You must come meet my friends. They have wanted to meet you for the longest time. I have told you all about you and they are most eager to meet you. They are splendid!" Thor said excitedly. Loki rolled his eyes. Even at the age of seven, Loki was still much more intelligent than Thor who was twelve. Loki was always getting Thor out of trouble too. The task of being the younger brother to Thor was quite tiring at times. _ _Loki sighed._

_"No. Leave me alone. I wish to read." he said. Thor crossed his arms._

_Y__ou know mother would not like it if she found out all you do is read all day. You need to go outside some time. You are already pale enough as it is." Loki shot a dirty look at Thor. He hated it when he pointed out his unusual pallor. He was the palest person in Asgard, he was sure._

_"I have a terrace. If I wish to go outside I will use it." Thor stared at him.__  
_

_"Do you think mother would approve of such reasoning?" he asked. Loki sighed, closing the book with a sharp snap. He rolled off the chaise lounge and went over to the taller boy._

_"Oh alright. I suppose it could not hurt to at least meet them. Then I am coming back to my room." Loki grumbled unhappily. Thor smiled and picked him up and put him over his shoulder._

_"Put me down you great oaf! I have legs." Loki pounded his small fists against Thor's back as his brother walked. Thor chuckled._

_"I fear that if I put you down, those puny things you call legs would not be able to support your weight." Loki wriggled in Thor's grasp, trying to get away._

_"Let me go Thor. I will not allow you to degrade me like this." Thor shook so hard with laughter, he had to put his little brother down. As soon as he was free, Loki smoothed out his clothes and kicked Thor as hard as he could in the ankle. Thor yelped in pain._

_"Don't do that again. You know I hate it when you do that." Thor grimaced at the slight pain, but continued to smile._

_"Oh come here Loki. I am sorry. Do you forgive me?" he asked, pulling Loki into a hug. Loki struggled for a few seconds, then stood still._

_"__Ok. But don't do it again. If you do, I shall turn you into a worm for a month." he threatened. Thor began laughing again and Loki scowled. He hadn't gotten that far in his magic and Thor knew it._

_He would have to work on his threats later._

* * *

"Well...that doesn't seem so bad. You got mad at Thor for doing something you didn't like. Nothing's wrong with that." Natasha said. Loki stared at the wall, slowly smoking his joint.

"Quiet Lady Romanov. I am not yet finished." the god told her. She nodded and sat back.

"That was the day I met Fandral for the first time. And I liked him. Believe it or not, he was a beautiful and kind boy. Once."

* * *

_Loki sighed as Thor led him from the comfort of his chambers. Loki was to meet Thor's friends. He sighed again, this time inwardly. He hoped Thor's friends weren't as reckless as him._

_After Thor told one of the servants to bring them some food, they went to Thor's private chambers. Specifically, his bedroom. Apparently, he wanted to show his friends some prized weapon of his. Loki tried to recall which one it was this time. Maybe a war mace. Thor was quite fond of heavy weapons used to crush skulls. _ _Loki shuddered. Skull crushing had never appealed to him the same way it had to Thor._

_Loki had seen his brother's room plenty of times. It's walls were often cluttered with dangerous looking weapons and his bed was hardly ever made, even though the servants came to make it everyday._

_"Here it is. I kept her secreted away. Just like father said. But, I don't think he'd mind if I took it out just once before the ceremony. Don't you think so Loki?" Thor asked with a grin. Loki rolled his eyes._

_"Of course Thor." he replied automatically. Thor was going to take the weapon out anyway no matter what Loki said. Besides that, he himself was curious as to what it actually looked like._

_The dwarves who had made the weapon for the future king of Asgard had been quite excited. But nothing for Loki. He didn't really mind. Thor was first born. First borns always got the most attention._

_Loki held his breath as Thor uncovered the hammer._

_"_ _Wow." he breathed. It was plain but...breathtakingly beautiful. He could already feel the power emitting from it._

_"I am to name her at the ceremony on my 16th name day. Father says the name will come when the time is right, but, it does not seem so." Thor shook his head, picking the hammer up._

_"Don't worry Thor. I am sure you will choose the perfect name. Just relax." Loki encouraged. Thor nodded, smiling again._

_"_ C_ome brother. Let us show my new hammer to our friends." he said. Loki followed after him._

_"__They are _your_ friends Thor. I have yet to learn their names." Thor smiled and pushed Loki ahead of him.__Three faces looked up at the entryway as Loki pushed back against Thor._

_"Stop it Thor. Do not rush me." Loki hissed over his shoulder._

_Thor waited impatiently while Loki carefully straightened his tunic and smoothed back his hair. After he was satisfied that nothing was out of place, he entered the room._

_Loki surveyed the four people already there. They stared at him from where they were sitting. Loki was surprised that one of them was female. She wasn't even wearing a dress. He thought that odd._

_"Loki, these are my friends. Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral and Sif. Say hello Loki." Thor urged. Loki studied each person as they were introduced. He wrinkled his nose as he watched Volstagg tear into a platter of boar. He ate as if he were starving, which was not possible since he was even larger than all of them put together._

_"Hello...Thor's friends." Loki said, turned to his brother._

_"May I leave now? I still have lessons to practice." Thor groaned._

_"Enough with the lessons Loki. We are going exploring soon. Why don't you stay and get to know our friends while I tend to the preparations." Loki snorted._

_"Absolutely not. You only said I had to meet them. Not converse with them. I have more important things to do than waste my time talking." He eyes them again, critical as ever. 'They look like imbeciles.' he thought to himself. Thor looked over at him._

_"What could you have to do that would be more important than getting to know new people?" Thor asked. Loki continued to glare at Thor._

_"My magic you stupid ogre! It is important that I learn everything I can as soon as I can and fooling around doing nothing does not contribute to it." Loki huffed. He turned to leave._

_"You know how to use magic?" The blond boy asked him. Loki turned, narrowing his green eyes._

_"Yes." he replied. Fandral smiled._

_"Aren't you a little young?" he asked. Loki scowled._

_"My mother says I am quite advanced in my studies and have a higher aptitude for the craft." Loki looked down at his feet nervously. He always got nervous when he felt someone was going to start making fun of his magic just because he was a boy. They always did._

_"Well, I think that's wonderful. You must be very smart to learn all those spells. And very strong too. I hear some of those spells can be very dangerous." Loki stared at Fandral. The older boy smiled a bit, his grey eyes holding onto Loki's green._

_"Thank you." Loki said quietly. He backed out of the room nervously, twisting his fingers in the sleeves of his robes._

_"Perhaps I will visit tomorrow, but I really must be getting back to my studies." Loki fled back to his room as soon as he was out of sight._

_For the first time in his life, Loki felt he actually had a friend._

* * *

_Loki nudged Thor's bedroom door open and stepped inside. His brother looked up as he approached._

_"Loki, is something wrong?" he asked, pulling on his leather armor. He and his friends were going camping in Vanaheim today. __Loki shuffled closer._

_"I wish to accompany you and your friends to Vanaheim." he stated. Thor smiled._

_"That is wonderful! I will go tell mother so she will not worry." he said. Loki stopped him._

_"No need. I already did." Thor laughed and patted Loki's back, almost knocking him to the floor in the effort. Thor was still growing into his strength and tended to forget it sometimes._

_"Sorry." Thor said. Loki nodded, grimacing at the pain spreading in his knees._

_"When are we leaving?" Loki asked._

_"This afternoon. We will give the horses time to be saddled. When we are ready, Heimdal will open the Bifrost for us and we will be on our way." Loki smiled a bit._

_"Where is Fandral?" he asked. Thor grinned._

_"Do you like Fandral?" he asked. Loki nodded. "He...seems nice." Loki said._

_"And he didn't make fun of my magic." he admitted._

_"Ah, well..." Thor ran a hand through his hair. Loki looked up into his eyes._

_"Some people do not think it is proper for a male to practice magic. They say it is a women's craft. Is...is that true?" he asked. Thor shook his head. "No Loki. You needn't worry about that." he told his little brother. Loki frowned._

_"But, father says-" Thor sighed._

_"Father says what he says because he is king and his duty is to please the people. He did not mean it." Thor assured him. Loki nodded._

_"Alright. Can you tell me where Fandral is now?" he asks. Thor smiled._

_"He and Volstagg are down in the kitchens overseeing the preparations for the food we will be taking. Well...the food is for Volstagg. The rest of us will hunt for our meals." Loki smiled._

_"Thanks Thor!" Thor chuckled as Loki ran off in search of Fandral._

* * *

_Volstagg crossed his arms over his chest as he tried to decide what he wanted to bring on the trip. Fandral watched him from the corner he is leaning against._

_"This is unnecessary. We're going to be hunting anyway." he said. Volstagg waved him away._

_"You know my appetite. I will starve on those small rabbits in Vanaheim." Fandral rolled his eyes._

_"Perhaps that would not be such a bad idea. Then your stomach would shrink and you would eat less. Save a family of boars I say." he joked. __Loki entered the kitchen._

_"Hello." he said quietly. Both boys looked over at him. Fandral smiled and came over to him._

_"Hello Loki. What brings you to the kitchens?" he asked, squatting down. Loki smiled at him._

_"Thor said I could come with you to Vanaheim. He's not doing anything and I guess I wanted to hang out with you guys. I have nothing else to do." Loki said, twisting his sleeves. He frowned, forcing his hands to his sides. Mother said wrinkling one's robes was a terrible habit.. Volstagg looked at him closely._

_"You don't eat much do you?" he asked, looking the small boy up and down. Loki smiled, shaking his head._

_"Not really. If that's what worries you, then I have a few small spells to produce food. Sometimes. I'm still learning." he said shyly. Volstagg nodded to himself._

_"Good. More food for me." Fandral scoffed._

_"Volstagg, you can't eat _everything_ while we're on the trip. We'll have to hunt the entire forest to keep you satisfied." he admonished. The larger boy waved him away. Fandral sighed and turned to Loki._

_"Hey, do you want to see something cool?" he asked. Loki nodded. Fandral took his hand and led him out of the kitchen._

_"Come on. Volstagg's going to be a while here. He always takes a long time."_

_Fandral took Loki's hand and led him from the kitchen to through the long corridors of the palace._

_"Where are we going?" Loki asked. Fandral smiled._

_"I have a sword in my chambers. You do like swords don't you?" he asked. Loki nodded eagerly._

_"Good. I'll explain it more about it once you see it."_

_When they reached the blond boy's chambers, Fandral pushed the gold doors open and led Loki inside. They passed through the sitting areas first to get to Fandral's bedroom. Loki was too excited to stand until so he just twisted his robes in his hands in anticipation. He forgot what his mother had said. He tried to busy himself with looking around Fandral's room._

_He was much cleaner that he'd expected. Not like Thor. Loki smiled. He liked Fandral even more now._

_Fandral drew a copper key from within his shirt and used it to unlock the chest sitting over in the corner of the room. He bent down and pushed it into the lock. After rummaging around in the chest, he pulled out a long silver case. He placed it on the bed and drew another key from his shirt, this time silver. He unlocked the case and motioned Loki over. Loki peered inside the box and let out an excited gasp when he saw what was inside._

_"My father gave me this sword on my tenth name day. He told me that since I was to be a man, I should have a man's weapon." He held it out to Loki and let him stroke the blade. Loki looked down at his feet._

_"My father never got me anything." he said quietly. Fandral knelt down in front of him._

_"I'm sure he still cares for you greatly. Sometimes fathers show their love in ways too subtle to be noticed." he assured the boy. Tears welled up in Loki's eyes._

_"He always gets Thor everything. Whenever I ask to help him with things, he never has time for me. Everything is always about Thor." Fandral smiled and pulled Loki into a hug._

_"I am sure your father loves you greatly. Perhaps one day when you are older, you will see that. Perhaps he is just waiting for the right time." Loki nodded and wiped his tears on his sleeve, sniffing._

_"Come now. Let us see if Volstagg has left us any food. Those poor cooks. I worry for them." Loki smiled and grabbed Fandral's hand._

* * *

_Loki sat atop the horse he'd been given. He had named her Nepja Sól. It roughly translated to Cold Sun from the Norse dialect. She was the most beautiful horse he'd ever seen._

_At Thor's word, they all spurred their horses on toward the Bifrost. Loki looked back at Frigga who was standing on the stairs, watching them as they left. She waved to him and he waved back. He knew she would worry for him. But, he told her that Thor and his friends would take good care of him._

_After going through the bridge and crossing into Vanaheim, they went about setting up a place to a place to camp for the night._

_"You think we'll find any dragons?" Fandral asked. Thor grinned._

_"Who knows. They're probably hibernating now. Especially the fire dragons. Once it gets too cool, their fire starts to disappear. It takes a lot of heat for them." Volstagg grumbled and brushed off a beetle crawling up his arm. He was still mad about not being able to bring his already prepared sacks of food._

_"Come now Volstagg. Do not be angry. If we had let you bring all that food then you would not have experienced the fullness of hunting in the wilderness." Thor said. Fandral smiled and patted Volstagg's belly._

_"Don't worry friend. We'll fatten you up once we return to Asgard." he promised. That made Volstagg smile a bit. Thor grinned._

_"Then we'll roast him!" he shouted. T__he other boys laughed loudly at the joke. __Volstagg frowned again, picking up a stick and throwing it at Thor's forehead. He missed. They laughed even harder._

_Not long after they came to a clearing. Thor announced that they would rest here for the night after they set up a few snares to catch some food for dinner. The older boys dismounted and went about setting up camp. Loki didn't move, swinging his legs back and forth. He was starting to regret choosing such a big horse. He looked at the others, then at the ground._

_"What are you doing Loki? Come help us look for fire wood." Thor said. Loki grimaced._

_"Must you always be in a hurry Thor?" he demanded." Thor frowned but said nothing else. If Loki wished to stay on the horse, then he wasn't going to force him to get off._

_In reality, Loki was stuck. He should have listened to his brother when he said it would be too big. He always hated it when Thor turned out to be right. Luckily, it was a rarity._

_Fandral came over to him._

_"Is something wrong?" he asked quietly. Loki glared at Thor._

_"I am afraid I am unable to get down." he mumbled. Fandral smiled._

_"Well, I'm sure I can help you with that. Just drop down and I'll catch you." he said. Loki hesitated._

_"Don't worry. I'm not going to drop you. I promise." Fandral told him. Loki nodded and pulled his leg over so that he was sitting side saddle. He pushed himself off and into Fandral's arms._

_"There. That wasn't so bad was it?" he asked. Loki shook his head, chewing the inside of his lip._

_"Come on. Let's see if we can catch some fish. I think I saw a stream over there." Loki frowned._

_"What are we going to fish with?" he asked. Fandral smiled._

_"With our hands. We'll grab them from the water as they swim by. But we have to be very, very still." he advised. Loki nodded excitedly._

* * *

Loki paused for a moment, blowing smoke from his mouth. He frowned, biting his lip.

"I thought he was just being nice to me. I thought he was my friend." he whispered. Natasha came closer and placed a hand on his back.

"It's what people like him do Loki. They lure you in with a false sense of security. Then when you trust them, they make their move. But they always go after the innocent. The weak. It wasn't your fault Loki. You were just a child." He shook his head.

"I should have..." He stood and began to pace slowly.

"Do you want to continue?" Natasha asked him. Loki nodded slowly.

"You already know too much already." he said. She smiled. He didn't.

"Yeah, well that's why I'm a spy. I find out things. That's what I'm good at." Loki smoothed out his hair before sitting back down.

"Do you still want to continue?" Natasha asked. He nodded, taking in a shaky breath.

"Yes. I must. Telling you this much has already helped me a lot." he admitted.

* * *

_Loki laughed as Fandral splashed water on his face._

_"Stop it Fandral! I'm already wet enough." he complained happily. Fandral smiled, giving Loki an odd look._

_"You certainly are." he said quietly. Loki grinned as he quickly splashed Fandral back and took off running. He snatched up his fish and ran back to the camp site. He could hear Fandral laughing as he followed._

_Thor looked up as Loki skidded to a halt at the edge of the tree line. He proudly stepped into the light of the fire and presented his fish._

_"Fandral and I caught some fish." he said excitedly. Thor smiled._

_"Well done Loki. I am sure that when these are cooked, they will be delicious." he complimented. Loki beamed._

_Fandral placed his own fish down beside Loki's and sat down on a log. He began to unpack supplies to to prepare the fish. He glanced at Thor who was hugging his little brother._

_"I am sure you will make a fine woodsman one day. When you are older, I will let you hunt with me." he promised. Loki frowned._

_"How much older?" he asked._

_"Perhaps in a few years. At least when you can fit a full grown horse." he added. Loki glanced at Fandral, glaring. The man put his hands up._

_"Hey I didn't tell him. I swear to the Norns." he said. Loki frowned and turned back to Thor._

_"Alright. I guess I can wait until then." he said. Thor smiled._

_"Great! Now let's get ready for supper."_

* * *

_Loki laid back on the fur he'd brought with him and curled up on his side._

_He was happy to be camping with Thor, but he had not expected the temperatures to drop so much. He shivered a bit and wrapped the fur tighter._

_"Are you ok?" he heard Fandral ask. Loki turned his head to look at him._

_"_ _Yes." he answered. Fandral nodded._

_"You're not cold or anything right? Sometimes in the spring, Vanaheim gets colder than usual because of the separating of the moons." he told him. Loki chewed his lip._

_"Well...I _am_ a bit cold." he admitted. Fandral nodded and climbed over him._

_"Come here. If we sleep together, then we will be warm." he said. Loki nodded slowly before untangling himself from the furs to allow Fandral inside. Fandral pulled the boy close and wrapped them both up._

_"Better?" he asked. Loki nodded, smiling._

_"...thank you." he said quietly. He sighed when the older boy stroked his hair._

_"You can ask me for anything you know." he said. Loki nodded sleepily, holding back a yawn._

_"Ok." he mumbled._

_With all the warmth wrapped around him, he couldn't help falling sound asleep with his new best friend._

* * *

_Loki woke up before all of them. To him, it was second nature. He always woke up early to practice his magic. His mother had told him that it was easier to learn new magic the closer it was practiced to the setting of the moon._

_He stretched and tried to roll over. Something was holding him down. He frowned, trying to wiggle free. Behind him, Fandral groaned. Loki sighed and began poking the boy in the ribs. Fandral rolled away from the assault in his sleep, just as Loki had expected._

_After he relieved himself, Loki came back to the camp. Fandral was up._

_"Where did you go?" he demanded. Loki frowned._

_"I relieved myself. I don't see why that would be such a big deal." he shrugged. Fandral sighed._

_"I'm sorry Loki. It's just that Thor would be very angry with me should anything happen to you. There are dangers out here that ramain hidden. And this is your first time camping." he said. Loki nodded._

_"I'm hungry. Let's wake your brother and the others up and eat." he suggested. Loki smiled._

_"Ok." he said mischievously._

_Thor came awake with a start. He wiped at the wetness on his face, frowning. Loki stood over him, holding a bowl over his head. "Good morning Thor." he said, smiling widely. Thor flopped back onto the ground and let out a weary moan._

_"Loooki!" he said. Loki grinned, jumping away as Thor made a grab for his ankle. Minutes later, Fandral cried out in pain as Sif hit him in the head with her shield._

_"You stupid ass!" she snarled, trying to tie her sopping wet hair back. She stormed away angrily muttering about killing Fandral later. Fandral looked over at Loki and smiled as he rubbed his head. Loki smiled back._

_"Breakfast is ready." Loki said to Thor. He went over and nudged Volstagg with his foot. The large boy didn't move, but, only snored louder if that was even possible. Loki began to shake him awake._

_"Come on, get up Volstagg!" he screamed in his ear. Volstagg continued to sleep on. Loki frowned and sat down. He looked at Thor, who was shaking his head._

_"That's not the way to do it." he said. Loki sighed._

_"Well _you_ wake him up then." Thor nodded, wagging a finger at his little brother._

_He went over to the pot Loki had set up and scooped some of the contents out into a bowl. It was the boar he and Volstagg had caught last night to eat for breakfast. He noticed that a few spices had been added for flavor. He smiled and walked over to Volstagg and held the contents under his nose. The boy sat up immediately, sniffing the air._

_"Mmmm..." he moaned. He opened his eyes, eyeing the package in Thor's hand._

_"Breakfast." he said. Volstagg nodded sleepily and took the bowl, digging in hungrily. Thor sighed and went to make himself a bowl of food._

_Loki watched him as he ate._

_"Do you like it?" the younger prince asked. Thor nodded._

_"What did you put in it?" he asked. Loki smiled shyly._

_"A few herbs for taste and to cut the fat. I figured you'd appreciate that since you're getting a bit pudgy around the middle." Thor scoffed as Loki snickered behind his hand._

_"I am perfectly fit." he protested. But, he couldn't help his hand straying down to pinch his stomach._

* * *

_They camped for another week before they began packing up to return to Asgard. Loki was saddened to leave._

_"Do not worry brother. We will soon return home again where you can read all the books you desire." he promised. Loki sighed._

_"Are you going to be camping again any time soon?" he asked. Thor nodded._

_"We have started doing it every month." he told him. Loki stared down at his saddle._

_"__Can I still come with you when you do?" he asked hopefully. Thor grinned._

_"Of course Loki. Having you around this past week has brought me more joy than you can imagine. I am grateful to have shared this experience with you." Loki blushed.__  
_

_"Shut up Thor." he said slowly._

_"You're starting to sound stupid."_

_Thor and the others burst out laughing._

* * *

**_2 years later..._**

_Loki sighed, studying the map in his hands._

_"Where to now brother?" Thor asked. Loki frowned and looked at the map again._

_"Where in Helheim did you get this map Thor?" Loki demanded._

_"It's all wrong." he said. Thor snorted._

_"How would you know? You've never _been_ to Svartlfheim before." he countered. Loki glanced over his shoulder at his brother, smirking._

_"You don't know that." he purred. Thor paled._

_"Impossible. You would have had to learn dark magic to create a portal powerful enough to transport an entire person through it without killing them." Loki sighed._

_"You are getting too smart for my liking Thor. Go back to being a mindless twit once in a while, ok?" he grinned. Thor smiled, clapping his brother on the back and taking a look at the map._

_"This should be where the pass lies." he said. Loki scowled._

_"Well it is not. Either your friend got the map wrong, or _I_ am reading it wrong." His eyes met Thor's._

_"And we both know how well I am with reading a map." he said. The blond god nodded._

_"Alright. Maybe there has been a mistake. But we do not have to let this ruin our adventure." Loki sighed._

_"I say we continue on, and if we do not find the pass, then we call Heimdal." Thor suggested. Loki waited for the others to agree before giving his consent. 'Why do I bother with these people?' he asked himself as he followed._

_"Hey." Fandral said, running up beside him. Loki folded the map up and tucked it into his pack. It was useless now._

_"What is it Fandral?" he asked._

_"Do you think Heimdal knows where we are?" the warrior asked. Loki shook his head._

_"I cast a cloaking spell upon us so he would not be able to locate us." Loki grinned._

_"You do not know how angry our parents would be if they were to discover that we have ventured into _ _Svartlfheim alone. They fear we will not be able to defend ourselves against the Dark Elves." Fandral nodded._

_"Which we probably won't." he mumbled. Loki shot him a look._

_"I'll have you now that I am a very adept sorcerer for my age. I could kill someone you know." Fandral laughed._

_"Sure you can." he said. He ruffled Loki's hair and ran off to the front of the group. Loki glared at his back. "Stop touching my hair or I will turn you into a worm!" he screamed._

_Everyone else laughed._

* * *

_Loki kicked a rock over the edge of a cliff and watched it fall into the pit. Three days later, and they were _still_ lost. Damn Thor. Damn him and his pride to bowels of Helheim._

_"We're lost Thor." he said once again. He heard his brother scoff._

_"Nonsense Loki. Must you always be so cynical?" he asked. Loki gave a small snort._

_"When the Realms give me a reason not to be, then there will be no reason for my continuing to be so, and I will stop." he snapped back. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing tiredly. _ _They had been walking all day. Damn Thor for not letting them bring horses._

_"Thor, whether you like it or not, I am stopping for the night. You may continue on without me." Loki summoned his sleeping bag and furs with his magic and laid them down on the ground. He looked at Thor expectantly, who was watching him as he unpacked._

_"Don't just stand there Thor. Stay or leave. I will catch up with you in the morning." he promised. Thor sighed in defeat and motioned for the others to gather around._

_"We shall camp here for the night and continue on at dawn. We will find this treasure yet. I swear it." he said. Loki rolled his eyes and tied his hair back._

_"I'm going back to that stream to wash this dirt off." he said. Thor nodded and began setting up their dinner._

_At the sound of foot steps, Loki looked behind him to see Fandral following. He shrugged._

_"I guess getting clean wouldn't be so bad. I hope you don't mind me joining you. I know you don't like the bath houses so I promise not to get too close." he grinned. Loki smiled._

_"Of course not. I just hate it that Thor is always fooling around in them. You can never just relax with him." he said. Fandral nodded._

_Loki stripped off his specially made armor and hung it on a low hanging branch. He glanced over at Fandral who was doing the same._

_"Would you like me to wash your back?" Loki joked. Fandral smiled._

_"Only if I can wash yours." the older boy replied, his eyes glowing brightly._

* * *

Natasha sat, waiting for Loki to say something. After several long moments, he let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Is...that when it happened?" she asked. He shook his head.

"It was later that night. I guess...he misunderstood my my joke." he said quietly. Natasha nodded.

"Yeah." was all she said.

* * *

_Later that night, Loki got up to relieve himself. Again. He shouldn't have accepted that ale Thor had given him. He looked around. It had to be at least around 1 am. Probably not. He knew that time was different in some Realms._

_He quickly found a spot and loosened his breeches. He sighed in relief as the pressure began to leave his bladder._

_"Again Loki?" He turned, seeing Fandral in the shadows of a tree._

_"Well, don't blame me. Thor gave me the ale." he grumbled. In the darkness, he could tell Fandral was smiling. The boy's teeth were a dazzling white that could be seen in the darkest dungeons of Muspelheim._

_Loki sighed, waiting for the stream of urine to slow._

_"You know I've always liked you Loki." he began. Loki nodded tiredly._

_"And I like you too Fandral." he replied. He really hated Thor right now. He heard Fandral come closer._

_"If you have to go too, don't you dare splash me. These are the most comfortable sleeping clothes I have fit for camping." he warned. He felt a sudden warmth behind him. A hand wrapped around his middle._

_"How long Loki?" he asked. Loki frowned._

_"What do you mean?" the young prince asked, paying no attention to the limb. Fandral often liked to grab others that way. mostly when he and Thor horsed around. He hoped the boy at least waited until he was finished. Instead, Fandral chuckled and leaned close to his ear._

_"How long have you wanted me?" he asked huskily. Loki jerked in surprise. He was quite calm for a boy of his age. His mother always told him he was just very prepared, expecting for anything to happen. He hadn't been expecting _that_.  
_

_Loki let out a nervous laugh, shaking himself like Thor taught him and lacing his trousers back up. He squatted down at the stream and washed his hands in the water with some jemin leaves to take care of any germs._

_"You are very funny Fandral. I have always admired you for your ability to make a joke out of anything." Loki shook his hands dry and went around his friend. He paused when a hand closed around his wrist. He tried to pull his hand back to him, but it wouldn't budge._

_"Fandral...what are you doing? We must really get back to sleep. We are to leave at dawn." he said. He could hear how heavily Fandral was breathing. It was beginning to worry him._

_"Are you alright? I am quite good at healing spells. I can treat you of any illness you have. Perhaps you should sit down." he said. He conjured a small ball of light to see his friend better._

_Fandral's pupils were twice their normal size and his mouth was open slightly. He was panting like a dog in heat. It was the same look Thor got when he fantasized about the older, beautiful brothel women. Or when Volstagg saw a piece of food he couldn't help but stare at._

_He saw the looks in the eyes of the soldiers when they returned from battle, eyeing the captured women they held. He had never known what made them look like that. He feared that look in Fandral's eyes now._

_"What in Helheim is wrong with you?" Loki demanded, attempting to pull his arm back. He let out a surprised squeak when Fandral slammed against the tree. He pushed Fandral away when he tried to kiss him._

_"Fandral stop this madness! Stop this now!" Loki yelled. He struggled as Fandral forced him down onto the ground and covered his body with his own. The other boy was too heavy to push off, so Loki tried to squirm out from beneath him. That apparently was the wrong thing to do._

_Fandral groaned above him and latched onto his neck._

_"F-Fandral, what are you doing?" Loki asked. The older boy above him ground his pelvis against Loki's leg. The young sorcerer could feel Fandral's arousal through his clothes._

_"I've waited so long for this." Fandral groaned. He pushed himself up onto his knees and began to remove his shirt. Loki scrabbled at the dirt to pull himself away._

_"Fandral, we must talk. We can talk to Thor. Perhaps you have just eaten a bad piece of boar and now you are not in your right mind. I-I can..." Fandral grabbed the back of his tunic and dragged him back. _

_"Fandral please let me go! You are frightening me. You are my friend. You would not do this to me. Please release me!" Loki begged as Fandral forced his arms beneath him. He sat on Loki's chest to keep him in place. Loki squirmed, trying to get away._

_Loki watched in horror as Fandral unlaced his breeches and pulled his half erect cock from their confines. He turned his head away when it was thrust into his face._

_"Open your mouth you little slut." he growled. Loki sobbed, shaking his head._

_"Please don't do this Fandral. If you do...Thor will know." he said desperately. Fandral smiled._

_"No he won't. You know why?" he paused, as if waiting for Loki's response._

_"Because if you tell Thor, then he will kill me. You know what happens to murderers in Asgard. Even a prince is not above the law."_

_Loki was crying now. He didn't want his brother to die because of him. He pressed his lips together tightly when he felt the tip of Fandral's manhood at his lips. Seeing that Loki was not going to comply, he gripped the boy's throat and squeezed as hard as he could._

_Loki's eyes widened. Fandral was going to kill him. He couldn't risk Loki telling on him, so he was going to _kill_ him. Tears welled up in his eyes as the realization hit him._

_He'd always thought Fandral to be his friend. Now he knew the truth._

_He whimpered as Fandral tore at his tunic Loki tried to push his hands away._

_"Fandral please..." he whispered against the pressure on his throat. He jerked as Fandral slapped him._

_"I am tired of you teasing me, Loki. I know you've wanted me since the first day we met. I've seen the way you looked at me. How you haven't been able to stay away from me these past years. Your spell of seduction has worked Loki. Now it is time to claim your reward." _ he said darkly. _Loki struggled as Fandral turned him over onto his stomach._

_"I...I thought you a friend." Loki said. Fandral smiled._

_"I am your friend Loki. I am giving you what you need. You have always been so pretty Loki. And now I have you all to myself."_

_Loki continued to lash out as Fandral pulled his trousers off._

_"This need not go further Fandral. I won't tell anyone if you stop." Loki begged. He tried to get away from Fandral again, but the boy was at least three times his weight. He was trapped. His only hope was that Fandral would have a change of heart and stop this madness. Or someone would come and see them._

_As Fandral managed to pull his pants down to his knees, Loki began to panic. Fandral was actually going to do this. He was going to rape him. As what was happening actually set in, Loki began to scream._

_"Thor! Thor help me pl-" Fandral clamped a hand tightly over his mouth._

_"Quiet." Fandral hissed. Loki jerked his head to the side and bit down on his hand as hard as he could. Fandral cursed and slammed Loki's head into the hard ground._

_"Damn you Loki!" He gripped Loki's throat again, cutting off the boy's air supply. Loki clawed at the hand around his throat, desperate for air. He was starting to see black dots dance across his vision. A strangled choking sound came from his throat._

_"Shhh. It's going to be ok Loki. You'll see." Tears streamed down Loki's cheeks as he struggled for air. His face was already numb and his fingers were starting to get numb too._

_Loki's mind barely registered it as he faintly felt something nudging between his buttocks._

_"This might hurt a bit." Fandral said, his voice echoing dimly throughout Loki's head. Loki struggled to comprehend what had been said. 'What was going to hurt?'_

_Fandral released his throat as he thrust. The pain was a shock and he couldn't help but suck in air instead of screaming from the pain. He heard Fandral moan behind him, moving his hips._

_Loki screamed again. He couldn't access his magic. There was too much pain. He wished he'd never cast that cloaking spell now. Maybe then, Heimdal would have sent someone to help him._

* * *

Loki wiped the tears on his cheeks away with the back of his hand.

"I've never felt so helpless until then." he said. Natasha pulled his head onto her shoulder.

"It's hard when they're close to you." she said. Loki could only nod against her neck.

"You know you can stop any time you want to Loki." she said. Loki shook his head as he sat back up.

"No. I-I wish to continue." he said. Natasha nodded. Loki wiped his eyes again, looking at the clock. He paled, standing up.

"Y-you must leave now." he urged. She frowned.

"Why? Is something wrong?" she asked. He swallowed.

"It is almost 10 o'clock." he told her. She shrugged.

"So what. Are you tired?" she asked. He shook his head.

"I did not realize the time. If Fandral finds out what I've told you...he's not a nice man Natasha. Please leave now. Visit me in the morning." he said. Natasha frowned.

"Are you afraid Fandral might come visit you tonight?" she asked. He nodded.

"He comes every night." he whispered.

"Loki, no. I can't leave you with him. He'll hurt you." she said. He smiled.

"I know. But I can defend myself. If you fight him, then he will kill you. I do not wish to risk that. You are my only friend." he said.

"Loki...everyone here is your friend." she said. Loki shook his head.

"You're the only one I trust." he said. She nodded.

"Alright. I'll go. But, if you get hurt or anything I won't be able to keep this to myself." Loki ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't tell Thor. Please Norns, not Thor." he pleaded.

* * *

Loki sat quietly on the sofa, waiting. He knew Fandral would be up at any moment and didn't want to be caught by surprise.

After two hours of waiting, Fandral finally made an appearance. Loki stayed silent as he approached.

"Well aren't you eager to begin? Quite a nice turn of events." he said, reaching down to touch the god's hair. Loki turned his face away.

"Do not touch me." he hissed. Fandral smiled.

"Of course. Always playing hard to get." Loki refused to look at the man. He felt sick just being around him.

Fandral sat on the arm of the sofa.

"So are we doing this the easy way or the hard way?" he asked. Loki curled into a ball on the sofa, trying to shut him out. Fandral sighed.

"Do you like that? I heard it in one of those moving picture things called films here." Loki said nothing.

"I guess it is to be the hard way then." he half groaned. He wrestled Loki to the floor and pinned him there.

"Why must you always be so difficult?" Fandral asked breathlessly. Loki struggled under him.

"I hate you!" Loki snarled, spitting in his face. Fandral wiped it off on his sleeve. As soon as his hand was free, Loki clawed at Fandral's face with all his might. The other man hissed at the stinging cuts left across his cheek.

Loki grunted as Fandral punched him in the stomach. He lay there gasping for air, slightly dazed. Fandral wiped at the blood trickling down his face, cursing.

"Oh you are going to regret that." he promised, placing his hand over Loki's throat. Loki's eyes widened as Fandral pressed down on his trachea. He choked, still trying to breathe.

He suddenly felt like a child again, being held down as Fandral fucked him brutally for the hundredth time. He sobbed as he realized he couldn't move. His body wasn't listening to him anymore. His mouth was the only part of him that worked.

"Fandral, no...please." he chocked. Fandral smiled, kissing his neck.

"So beautiful under me." he mumbled against the god's neck.

Loki passed out, Fandral's hand still on his neck.

* * *

_Loki rolled away from Fandral, shivering. He hurt all over. He couldn't stop shaking. Everything hurt so badly. He sobbed quietly as he listened to the other boy to pull on his clothes._

_"I'm sorry Loki. I didn't mean it." Fandral whispered. Loki squeezed his eyes shut. "Leave me alone." he said in a pained voice. Fandral nodded._

_"I hope we can still be friends." he said._

_Loki cried silently._

* * *

Natasha eyed Fandral as he cheerfully greeted her the next morning. She didn't miss the red line of scratches on his face.

"You look well rested this morning Fandral. I trust your night was pleasant?" she asked. He smiled.

"Yes, well...I slept well." he answered.

Natasha used the stairs to get up to Loki's floor, still not trusting the elevator. She looked around, making sure the place was empty.

"Loki?" she said quietly. She entered the bedroom and gave a sigh of relief, hearing the shower running. She knocked on the door.

"Loki? Are you done?" she asked. She heard the shower cut off and after a few more minutes, the god stepped out of the bathroom.

She stared at the bruise on his neck.

"Is that a...a hand print?" she asked. Loki walked around her. He pulled on a pair of pants and a hoodie.

"What happened?" she asked. He glanced at her, smiling a bit.

"Fandral." he said quietly. She closed her eyes.

"Loki, you can't let this continue on. He's hurting you. This-this just can't be healthy." she said. He said nothing.

"Loki, I can't just stand here and allow that bastard to hurt you." His eyes widened.

"Y-you said you wouldn't tell!" he gasped. She shook her head.

"This is insane Loki. What Fandral is doing is a crime. He can get life in prison here. Then you'd never see him again. Ever." she said. Loki stared at her.

"But...Thor." he said. She frowned.

"Loki, Thor isn't going to be mad at you once he knows what's been happening. He might even feel a bit guilty for not knowing." Loki played with the zipper on the hoodie, shaking his head slowly.

"You don't understand. He...he'll think less of me. He won't want me anymore. I'm...damaged. He-he won't ever look at me in the same way ever again. He'll...pity me. I don't want that." Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he spoke. She took a deep breath.

"Then that's a risk you'll have to take." she said. He sat down on the bed.

"You know if you say anything, then Thor will find out eventually." he told her. He watched her nod. He swallowed thickly.

"Wait. Please wait. Don't tell anyone right away if that is what you are planning. Wait a while." he said. She nodded.

"I won't say anything until Tony gets back in a couple days." she promised. He nodded, grateful. She turned to leave.

"Wait." he said. She raised an eyebrow.

"I might as well tell you the rest of the story." he said. She nodded.

"Alright. Do you still want to record?" she asked. Loki smiled.

"We've already recorded this far. Why not?"

She took her phone out of her pocket and waited.

"Whenever you're ready." she told him. He took a deep breath and gave a nod for her to start recording.

"We eventually found our way out of the valley. I couldn't even look at Fandral for the rest of the way." Loki shook his head.

"Did he...do it again?" Natasha asked. Loki shook his head.

"He didn't touch me. I assumed he felt guilty...but he still looked." He shook his head.

"When we returned to the palace, I didn't tell anyone. I...I was ashamed. A prince of Asgard sodomized! The other older boys were already claiming me to be an ergi."

Natasha stayed quiet, watching him tremble as he told the story. She wondered what Loki must have looked like as a child. From the stories Thor had told them, she wondered what Fandral had to have done to turn Loki into the man he was today.

* * *

_Loki was grateful when Fandral announced that he was going home for a couple of weeks. Apparently his sister had fallen ill. Loki treasured those nights when he no longer felt Fandral's lustful gaze upon his body._

_A week later, Loki awoke to the sensation of something warm and wet licking at his neck. He opened his eyes._

_Fandral stared up at him from where he was happily lapping at the boy's neck. Then he smiled, sitting back on his heels. He smoothed the wrinkles out of his riding clothes._

_"Did you miss me?" he asked pleasantly. Loki scrambled off the bed and pushed himself across the cold, marble floor. He scrambled to the door. Fandral frowned and grabbed his ankle. Loki kicked him in the face._

_"Stop it Loki." he growled, holding his bleeding nose. He was pretty sure it was broken. Loki began screaming._

_"Thor!" he cried out. Fandral tore off one of his gloves and stuffed it into his mouth. He gripped the prince's hands and forced them behind his back and waited for him to stop squirming. After a while, Loki collapsed against the floor in exhaustion._

_"Loki, I only wish to speak with you." he said. Loki tried to spit the glove out, but it was lodged too securely in his jaw. Fandral ran a hand over his bloodied face, groaning._

_"I like you Loki. I really do. But, I know you like me too." he said. Loki tried to kick him again, so Fandral pinned his leg to the floor with his knee._

_"Loki." he said, his voice warning him. Loki whimpered, trying to curl into a ball. He squeezed his eyes shut as Fandral's hands began to roam over him._

_"You're so beautiful. You know that don't you?" he asked. Loki shivered. He was growing cold on the floor._

_"You've always teased me. Ever since we met that first day. Always teasing...taunting me." Loki froze when he heard Fandral moan. He renewed his struggle again, trying to scream through the makeshift gag._

_Fandral flipped him over onto his back and placed a hand on his throat._

_"Shhh." he said. Loki was shaking with fear now. He didn't want Fandral to rape him again. He shook his head, trying to nudge him away._

_"Will you be quiet now?" Fandral asked. Loki nodded, so Fandral removed the glove._

_"Please...don't. Just leave me alone. I-I won't tell. I swear." he begged. Fandral smiled, running his thumb over Loki's lower lip._

_"You won't tell anyway. You know what will happen to Thor if he hurts me." Tears welled up in Loki's eyes._

_"Please..." he said again. Fandral sighed._

_"Now, now Loki. Be a good little boy, Loki. Be good for me."_

* * *

Loki had stopped talking and was now curled up into a fetal position at this point. Natasha didn't know what else she could do, so she pulled him close to her and stroked his hair.

"Loki, we can stop now." she said. He nodded, gasping through his tears.

"I was so stupid to trust him. But...he kept coming back. And I let him. For centuries. That's why I wanted to learn magic so badly. I worked so hard for it. I couldn't fight. Magic was my only option. And they shunned me for it." Loki sobbed and Natasha continued to stroke his back.

"Now my magic is gone and I am like a child again. Defenseless." he sobbed.

"Loki, this has to be taken care of soon." she told him. He nodded against her shoulder.

"I'm afraid of what he'll do if he finds out." Loki whispered. Natasha swallowed.

"Everything will be better after Fandral is gone. You'll see." She nudged Loki off of her, planning to grab some tissues for him. She froze, staring at the man standing at the top of the stairs. Fandral smiled warmly at her.

"Hello Natasha, what a pleasant surprise. I didn't know you were here. May I ask a reason for that?"

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I think this chapter could have been better. Spent a lot of time editing but see nothing else that can be done. It's a bit long, but oh well.

Also, the part about Loki's face going numb while Fandral chokes him is true. I speak from experience. Your face gets numb and tingly. Weird right? Haven't experienced the finger part, but I assume that happens later on. :)

Soooo...ENJOY!


	4. The Fear Loki Tried To Bury

**Author's Note:** So hello there! Sorry, I haven't updated in awhile. Been a bit busy. And then I got off track from not working on this for so long and I lost track of where I was going with the fic. But I'm back now! So...yay!

ENJOY!

* * *

Natasha recovered quicker than Loki from Fandral's sudden appearance.

"Hey, Fandral. I was just teaching Loki a bit about Midgardian technology. I can't believe he's been here for two years and still doesn't even know what a cell phone is," she said with a smile. Fandral smiled back.

"Well, Loki always was stubborn," he said quietly, his eyes skimming over the god's rigid form. Natasha made a show of sighing loudly.

"Alright then. Tomorrow morning, we're going over Twitter. Be ready Loki," she said. Loki nodded slowly, forcing himself to smile. He watched her pass Fandral, looking over her shoulder worriedly.

After they were completely alone, Fandral watched the other god for a long moment.

"Why was she up here Loki?" he asked. Loki kept his gaze on the floor.

"Like she said. I have no need for Midgardian devices, but yet she insists on teaching me," he said. Fandral tangled his fingers in his hair, gripping tightly.

"Really? Then tell her to stop," he said. Loki swallowed thickly.

"But...I enjoy learning about Midgardian technology. And if I am to be here for the rest of my life, then I can see no harm in learning," he said, struggling to keep his voice even. He tensed when Fandral yanked harshly on his hair.

"You try my patience Loki," he breathed close to his ear. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, forcing himself not to pull away. Resisting would only make it worse.

"Please just leave Fandral. I'm just...so tired," Loki whimpered. Fandral smiled.

"No," he said coldly. Loki stood, waiting for him to move.

"I don't have time for this Fandral. Now please leave," he growled, trying for a more aggressive approach. Fandral laughed.

"That's not for you to decide now is it?" he said pleasantly as he advanced.

* * *

Natasha let out a sigh of relief when she made it back to her room safely. She'd half expected Fandral to actually follow her.

She grabbed her laptop and sat down on her bed. She plugged her phone in and proceeded to upload the rest of Loki's audio file onto her computer. She then burned it onto a disk.

She never could be too sure if Fandral had discovered what they'd been doing. He might try to destroy her computer to get rid of the evidence.

She removed the disk and slid it into a protective case, before hiding it in a secret vault she's had Tony install in her closet for private reasons. A spy could never be too sure.

Natasha paced around her room, a cold and unfamiliar feeling spreading across her chest. Guilt.

She knew she should tell someone, but Loki trusted her. Besides, it was only for a few more days. 'God I hope Loki is ok.' she thought as she went into her kitchen for a drink. She frowned, holding up the empty bottle of what used to be red wine. Clint.

She went back to her room, with a bottle of vodka she'd carefully hidden in one of her cabinets. She was beginning to rethink her living arrangement with the archer.

* * *

Tony sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him. Nine hours on the plane, six more to go. He sighed, popping a few dried cranberries into his mouth. Across from him, Pepper looked up from the reports sheets spread out on her laptop.

"Relax Tony. It's only going to be a few more hours," she assured him. He groaned, sinking deeper into his seat.

"Six more hours Pepper," he told her, clarifying. She smiled, shaking her head. He continued to pout.

"I hope nothing else is wrong back at the tower. I already have to fix JARVIS, thanks to Bruce's stupid tea incident," he said. Pepper couldn't help but continue to smile.

"Of course," she replied. Tony sat up, running his hands across his eyes.

"So glad I'm coming back early. No telling what's been going on while we've been over in Japan," He paused, looking at her.

"You think the tower is still there?" he asked worriedly. Pepper rolled her eyes.

"Tony, don't be ridiculous. If anything like that had happened, it would have been on the news," she scolded. The engineer sighed again, going back to throwing cranberries in the air and trying to catch them in his mouth. Pepper batted a stray berry away from her face.

"Tony stop it," she growled. The man grinned, dropping a few more berries into his mouth.

* * *

Bruce removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly, holding back a yawn. He'd been up all night working on a secret project of his, one he hadn't told any of the team about, feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing all in all. He squinted, swearing he just saw a flash of red across his peripheral vision.

"Working hard?" he heard Natasha ask close to his shoulder. He steadied himself, moving slowly to cover up his work. He was sort of glad he wasn't going crazy after all. He smiled up at her, nodding.

"Yeah, I guess I have," he answered, straightening up. She smiled, hopping up onto the worktable. She slid a warm mug of tea across the table to him, smiling.

"You don't mind me being here do you?" she asked him quietly. He shook his head, accepting the offered drink and taking a sip.

"Not at all. As a matter of fact, I think I need the company after all this time of being alone down here. Starting to see things," he admitted. Natasha cocked her head, contemplating. Bruce took another look at the results on the computer, frowning when they remained negative after making a few changes.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked. Bruce glanced up at her, swallowing thickly. Everything was suddenly uncomfortably hot all of a sudden.

"Sure," he answered. He set down his pen and leaned in.

"Have you ever...felt really guilty about anything before," she asked quietly. Bruce smiled.

"Well, that all depends on what you mean. Are we talking about pushing your sibling off a swing set as a kid or something...bigger?" he pressed. Natasha shrugged.

"I guess bigger. A lot bigger," she answered. He nodded.

"I guess so. Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked her. She shifted uncomfortably from where she was sitting.

"It's really not my place to tell actually," she sighed. Bruce raised the mug to his lips again but paused.

"It's not something that could hurt anyone else, is it?" he asked. Natasha stared down into her own beverage. She sighed heavily. After a few moments, she slid off the table.

"I have to go. Nice talking to you," she said. Bruce opened his mouth to call after her but closed it. He didn't know what he would say to make her stay, so he stayed quiet.

"Weird," he muttered, taking a large gulp of his now lukewarm tea. He drained the rest of it and set the cup aside, refocusing on his tests. He cleaned his glasses to give his hands something to do in their boredom.

He was getting nowhere at this point. Perhaps he should just wait until Tony came back. He glanced at the clock. 8:37 am it read. He sighed, cleaning his workspace. He'd try again in the morning. Hopefully, he would get better results.

* * *

Loki rolled away from Fandral as soon as he was sure the man was sleeping. He took a deep breath through his mouth, trying not to breathe in the smell of the air around him. He almost gagged, tasting it in his throat. He froze as Fandral shifted beside him. He held his breath, careful not to make a sound.

After ten minutes, his body began to cramp up from staying in on position for so long. He crept off the bed and across the room on his hands and knees. He pulled on a pair of pants and crawled over to his closet.

At the very back was where he kept his most prized, most private possessions. He carefully removed a panel in the floor, glancing over his shoulder at the form on the bed, searching for the slightest movie.

Loki pulled out a small pouch he usually used to store small amounts of herbs back on Asgard. He dumped the contents into his hand, staring at the tiny, purplish black pills.

He glanced back at Fandral, shaking his head. Tears formed in his eyes when he thought of what these tiny balls could do. Loki came out of the closet and worked his way out of the room.

Once he was out of the room, he sat on the sofa, wondering what he had done to deserve such a fate.

He thought back to his childhood, trying to find something that would help him make sense of it all. He shook his head, feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable for the first time in centuries.

He couldn't figure out where everything had gone wrong. Maybe he had somehow allowed Fandral to use him. Loki took a deep breath, calming himself. At the same time, he strained to hear any noises coming from the bedroom.

His gaze drifted back to the small black pills again. He had never intended to bring them to Midgard with him. They had been a precaution, in case Thanos had caught up with him somehow and he needed a way out.

He remembered the first time he had contemplated taking more than one of them when he had discovered he'd been pregnant for the first time.

* * *

_Loki unfolded the cloth to reveal the twelve small pills of his own making. He turned back to the book, making sure he hadn't missed a step, comparing them to the drawn images on the page._

_He hadn't thought it possible for a male to become pregnant, but Eir was never wrong. He trusted her more than he trusted anyone in the palace, besides his mother of course. This small bundle of pills would fix that if taken properly._

_Loki paused in his studies, hearing the sound of hooves outside. He climbed off of the bed and went to the balcony._

_In the distance, he could see five horses and their riders coming across the Bifrost. The two riders in the rear were using a travois to carry the carcass of a rather large wild boar behind them. Thor and the others had returned from their hunt. Vaguely, he realized there would probably be a grand feast the next night. His heart began to thunder in his chest as he caught sight of his brother's great hammer hanging from his hip._

_Loki tried to swallow, but his mouth was suddenly dry. He stared down at the second blond trailing behind his brother. As if sensing Loki's gaze, Fandral looked up at him. He smiled. Loki jerked away from view. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He stuffed the pills into a hidden pocket in his robes and sat over in the corner, waiting._

_It was almost an hour before he heard anyone enter his chambers. Fandral entered the room, frowning at the darkness of the room._

_"Loki?" he called out. The younger god watched him for a few moments, deciding whether or not he should reveal himself._

_"You've returned early I see," Loki told him, rising and coming to stand in the light pouring in from the open curtains of the terrace. Fandral smiled, coming over to embrace him._

_Loki remained perfectly still as the man kissed his neck, then his jaw, working his way up to his lips. Loki turned his head away before their lips touched._

_"Fandral...I have to tell you something," Loki said, his voice barely rising above a whisper. The warrior pulled back a few inches._

_"Do you now? Well out with it. I don't think I'll be able to restrain myself for much longer," he told Loki, moving to undo his armor. Loki turned away from him, gathering his courage._

_"Fandral, I never thought I would say this, but...I'm pregnant," he said. The other man paused in his endeavors. He straightened, eyeing Loki coldly._

_"What?" he asked, his voice becoming harsh. Loki held in a frustrated sigh._

_"Really Fandral? You didn't think there would be repercussions for having sex with a hermaphrodite?" Loki demanded. Fandral stared at him._

_"Are you sure? How is it even possible? Just because you have a female cunt doesn't mean you're feminine inside too," the warrior told him. Loki's hands clenched into fists as he fought to control his anger. Loki continued to glare at him._

_"I went to Eir. She is never wrong about these things," Loki told him. Fandral's face hardened._

_"You told her? About us," the warrior hissed. Loki took a few steps away from the man as he felt Fandral's anger grow._

_"No, no, no!" Loki said hurriedly. Fandral grabbed his arm, twisting it painfully as he pulled the smaller man toward him._

_"Fandral, I didn't say anything. To anyone, I swear," Loki insisted, wincing as pain lanced up his arm. Loki pushed against the man's chest, trying to escape his hold._

_"Fandral, please. You're hurting me," Loki said in a small voice. Fandral hissed, letting him go. Loki rubbed his arm, knowing there would be a bruise forming by the time night fell if he didn't use magic to heal it. He didn't dare to use his magic in the presence of Fandral. Fandral grew uncomfortable at Loki's displays of it. Loki didn't think it would be any much help anyway. He hadn't learned anything other than charm magic. At Fandral's insistence of course. _

_"How is that even possible? You told me that cunt between your legs wasn't functional," Fandral said accusingly. Loki swallowed._

_"That's what I thought. But apparently I was wrong," Loki pulled his robes tighter about himself and began circling the room._

_"What are you going to do with it?" Fandral asked him. Loki raised an eyebrow._

_"You don't think I'm going to keep it do you?" he asked. Fandral frowned._

_"I thought not. With me being a prince and all, it would be unseemly. Think of the rumors. The birth would be quite a scandal," he pointed out._

_Inside of his pocket, Loki squeezed the small pills, taking comfort in their presence. He smiled ruefully, stroking them thoughtfully. It was just as well that he terminated the pregnancy. The scandal of his true nature would bring shame upon his family. Especially if anyone ever found out who the true father was._

* * *

Loki froze as he heard movement within the bedroom.

"Loki," he heard Fandral call from the room. The god shuddered, moving to hide the pills. He then went back into the room, seeing Fandral dressing hurriedly. The warrior looked up at him, smiling.

"Apparently I am being summoned by the Allfather, Loki," he told him, holding up the small, glowing amulet around his neck. Loki swallowed, nodding a bit.

"So I want you to be a good boy while I'm gone. Stay here if you can help it. I don't want to have to come back and have to look for you," he threatened. Loki nodded, moving out of the way as Fandral exited the room. Loki turned his head away when Fandral attempted to kiss him. Fandral tsked.

"We're going to have to work on that attitude of yours later," he said, the hint of a promise sounding in his voice. He pushed past the younger man, leaving him alone on the floor.

Loki pressed himself against the wall, a feeling of an overwhelming sense of helplessness crashing down around him.

* * *

Tony inhaled deeply as he stepped out of the limousine. He eyed his tower thoughtfully, satisfied that it looked ok. At least it was still standing.

"See Pep? I told you. Everything was fine," he told her, shaking a finger. The woman turned her eyes to the heavens.

"You haven't seen the inside yet," she murmured, causing his shoulders to drop. He groaned, throwing a hand over his face dramatically.

"Come on Tony. Let's get this over with," she advised, going ahead of him. He stood there for a moment, mentally preparing himself for what was to come before running after her.

In the lobby, Tony tried working JARVIS without success. He sighed, pulling out his phone.

"I told you your total dependence on JARVIS wasn't good," Pepper told him. He glared at her out of the corner of his eye. She smiled, shaking her head.

"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I can reprogram the elevator and JARVIS from here," he assured her, tapping commands into his phone for a temporary surge of power to the elevator. He would have to actually repair JARVIS to get everything running again. Pepper sighed.

"Alright then. Have at it," she encouraged. He nodded, determined. There was certainly no way they were walking up 92 flights of stairs and surviving.

* * *

Thor awoke with a start, realizing someone was standing by his bedside shaking him awake. It was Natasha.

"Thor...Thor get up!" she growled, smacking his muscular arm. He smiled sleepily and yawned.

"Lady Widow. Good morning to you. Have you need of my assistance?" he asked, getting out of bed. The god just smiled down at her and pulled Natasha into the sitting area of the floor.

"Thor...how close are you and Fandral?" she asked slowly as she sat down. Thor smiled, offering her breakfast which she declined.

"Fandral is like a brother to me. We hunted together, played together. We have even fought together in battle many, many times," he said happily. He paused, frowning.

"He has even saved my life quite a few times," he told her. He sighed, shaking his head.

"I won't judge Loki for bedding Fandral instead of me. I just wish he would have told me of his feelings beforehand. That he would have...'broken up' with me as you mortals tend to say," he told her, the hurt in his voice pouring through his attempts to cover it up. Natasha swallowed thickly.

"Thor, in a little while, you're going to hear some news you're not going to like," she told him. The god frowned.

"What is the matter?" he asked. Natasha hesitated.

"How much do you love Loki?" she asked. Thor grimaced.

"I do not it wish to speak of my brother any longer," he told her, rising to his feet to prepare breakfast. Natasha nodded.

"Alright then. What about Fandral? Was he ever...odd when you were younger?" she pressed. Thor's frown deepened.

"What are you getting at Lady Romanov?" he asked. Natasha shook her head.

"Listen, I-" Thor paused suddenly, looking down at the amulet around his neck. It glowed brightly, pulsating persistently. Thor frowned.

"What's that?" Natasha asked. Thor sighed.

"I am required upon Asgard. I do not think it is serious, though. Perhaps the others have not gotten the signal." He shrugged.

"I apologize. We must continue this another time," he told her.

"The other Asgardians have those too?" she asked. The god nodded.

"If they are required to do so then they shall receive a signal. The Allfather gifted us all with these charms so that it would be easier to summon us. I am sure they will meet me there if necessary," he told her, going into the bathroom to wash and dress.

Natasha sighed, deciding to take her leave.

* * *

Steve was in the middle of cooking his breakfast when his cell phone rang. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at the small screen of the flip phone. The other members had suggested he start simple, working his way up to more advanced technology.

"Hello, Natasha. How are you today?" he asked as he answered. The spy let out a huff of laughter.

"Good. You're up. And I'm fine. Thanks for asking," she replied. Steve smiled.

"Well, I just got back from my run and I decided to cook," he told her. He held in his sigh at her pause of uncertainty.

"You're more than welcome to come up Natasha. I live on the communal floor for a reason. Remember?" he told her. Natasha sighed.

"And maybe now you'll let me draw you," he pressed gently. He'd been working on portraits of each of the Avengers, succeeding in getting most of their consent. The only ones left were Natasha, Clint, and Bruce. Tony, of course, had been the first to jump at the idea, demanding a whole collection to be displayed.

"Ok. But only because I have nothing else to do," she said.

Half an hour later, she entered his floor via the stairs. God how she hated Tony Stark. She sighed, greeting the captain when she saw him. He smiled, handing her a plate of eggs, bacon, sausage and toast.

"You didn't have to make all this for me," she insisted. Steve shrugged.

"I know. But I figured you might be hungry. I never see you eat," he told her. She sighed taking a bite of the eggs.

"Oh Steve...this is the most amazing breakfast I've ever had," she told him. The captain grinned, giving her a nod.

"Well, I try," he said modestly.

They began to talk about everyday things, him pausing to make an adjustment to his portrait of her. She smiled as he told her of his childhood.

"Things must be so weird for you," she realized, studying him. Steve shrugged.

"A bit I guess. It's weird when the last thing you remember is living in the 1940's and when you wake up it's suddenly 2011. It's a bit disorienting at first," he told her. She nodded sympathetically, finally seeing how uncomfortable he must feel on a day to day basis.

The elevator doors opened suddenly and none other than Tony Stark stepped out onto the floor.

"Surprise!" he shouted happily. Both Steve and Natasha stared at the inventor in surprise.

"Tony...we weren't expecting you back until Thursday," the spy said calmly. Tony grinned.

"Well consider this my early Christmas gift to you," He looked around, wrinkling his nose at the mess lying around them.

"Uh...well Steve, if you want I can send Dummy up here to...well clean for you. If you want that is," he offered. The man sighed, looking around at the mess in the kitchen. The soldier shook his head, smiling sheepishly.

"No thank you, Tony. I'll make sure to clean up as soon as possible," he promised. The inventor clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Oh come on. Before I left I was working on Dummy. Fixing up a few glitches he had. I've tried him out in the lab, but now I want to see how he does with day to day stuff like this," the inventor said. Steve sighed, giving in. He knew from experience that persistence was Tony's specialty.

"Great! Just as a precaution, he may or may not spray you with a fire extinguisher. He means no harm. He just wants us all to stay safe," he said. Steve nodded quietly, going into the kitchen to put his plate in the sink. Tony pulled Natasha aside.

"Hey, what's up with White Lightening? I just saw him leaving with Fandral. He didn't look too happy," he asked. Natasha glanced at the soldier.

"I think he's still upset about Loki," she said. Tony scoffed.

"Oh please. He should go back to Jane. She's a nice girl. I mean there is a reason I encouraged Fandral to go after Loki." Natasha stared at him.

"What are you talking about Stark?" she demanded. She got a sick feeling she was about to hear some very upsetting news.

The inventor shrugged.

"Well I saw that Fandral was pining after tall dark and handsome, and Loki was obviously not all that happy with Thor, so I said why the hell not. Thor is a nice guy, but he's like a rug. He lets Loki get away with walking all over him," Natasha groaned.

"Tony, we need to talk," she told the inventor.

* * *

Thor greeted Heimdal as he exited the light of the Bifrost. Beside him, Fandral stood, adjusting his armor. He glanced at the other man, smiling a bit.

"Come now Thor. It can't be that bad. I'm sure Odin only called us to check on the progress of Midgard," he assured him. Thor's jaw clenched.

"He has Heimdal for that," he told him. Fandral sighed at the cold shoulder he was getting.

"Besides, why would he need to speak to all of us?" Thor said quietly.

Thor mounted his horse and spurred it onward. He could see the silhouette of Sif and Volstagg in the distance. He assumed Hogan was already in the palace.

Fandral sighed, grabbing the reins of his horse. Heimdal eyed him as he went, causing an uncomfortable weight to press onto the back of his neck. Fandral smiled, turning to him.

"Why Heimdal, you are looking quite well today. Perhaps I shall return to ask you of your secret," he said. Heimdal said nothing, turning back to his post. The Guardian continued to watch him as the group rode.

Fandral sighed, following behind Thor.

* * *

"Oh how I've missed you my sweet," Tony said, stroking the lab's work table. Bruce smiled.

"How was Japan?" the scientist asked. Tony shrugged.

"Well, you know how it is on business. Boring. I'm lucky I had Pepper or I would have tried to get on the first plane back to New York." Natasha followed him into the lab, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Tony I really need to talk to you," she said again. He sighed, reaching under the table for a hidden bottle of scotch. He got a glass from one of the cabinets and poured himself a generous helping. He took a slow sip, savoring the burn.

"Ah...I think I missed you even more," he whispered. He groaned, taking another sip. Pepper had not allowed any alcohol on the trip, claiming she wanted him clear headed and able to negotiate.

"Tony, this is important," Natasha told him. The inventor nodded.

"I'm listening," he said, tinkering with the tower's broken power source. The spy let her gaze roam over to Bruce. The scientist took the hint, gathering his notebooks.

"See you later Tony. I think I'll just take a nap or something. I really don't see how you can stay up for days straight working down here," Bruce shook his head as he left. Tony glanced suspiciously at Natasha as they were left alone.

"You're not gonna kill me down here are you? No one would be able to hear me scream after all," he pointed out. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Tony you're a complete idiot!" she exclaimed, pacing around the room. She shook her head. Tony paused, coaxing the little machine back to life. He let out a triumphant sound of joy when it obeyed.

"My degrees say differently," he said. Natasha shook her head slowly.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" he asked, moving to place his pride and joy in a safe place. Natasha glared at him.

"Tony, I know in your own way you meant well by Loki, but there are some things you just do not take control of," she told him. The inventor glanced in her direction.

"Natasha, please. I know I'm not the only one who thought Loki screwing his own brother was messed up, even if they aren't related by blood," he told her. Around them, they could hear the tower booting back up. The elevator lights came back on as JARVIS took control again.

"Did you ever stop to think why Loki doesn't like Fandral?" she demanded. Tony shrugged, taking another drink. He figured he deserved another after fixing the fairly complicated piece of machinery in less than five minutes.

"I don't know. Maybe Loki thought Fandral was too pretty for him. Sometimes people want to get with someone who isn't as good-looking as them to boost their self-worth," he suggested. "Not that I've ever had that problem. Also no offense to Thor. He is a very good looking man," he told her. Natasha shook her head.

"Tony, it's more to it than that," she insisted. The inventor raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really Natasha. Then enlighten me as to how I've made such a bad choice," Tony demanded. Natasha clenched her jaw, forcing down her anger.

"Fandral molested Loki when they were children," she blurted out. Tony froze, the glass of scotch he was drinking halfway to his mouth. He blinked a couple of times as the information sank in.

"Excuse me?" he demanded. Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

"I've been talking to Loki about it and it took a little while, but he finally came out with it. Even Thor never knew," she told him. Tony poured himself another glass.

"What?!" he exclaimed after a long drink. Natasha said nothing as she watched the inventor begin to panic a bit.

"When did this happen? And if it did, why didn't Loki say anything way before now?" Tony asked. Natasha glared at him.

"What the hell do you mean if?" she demanded. Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Come on Natasha. You can't believe everything Loki says. Almost every word out of his mouth is a lie for his own personal gain," he told her. Natasha frowned.

She had to admit, if she hadn't seen the evidence herself, even she would have been a bit skeptical listening to Loki's story. She sighed.

"A couple weeks after you left for Japan, I began suspecting there was something more to it than a simple animosity between old friends," she told him. Tony groaned.

"Where is Loki now?" he asked. Natasha shook her head.

"I left him up on his floor. Fandral came up so I had to leave." Tony set his drink down.

"So, all this was going on and you left him alone?" the inventor asked. Natasha nodded.

"I know, but I just had to get out of there," she told him. Tony nodded.

"Alright. Let's talk to our little Trickster," he suggested, heading to the now operating elevator.

* * *

Thor frowned as he entered the throne room. The Allfather would have never summoned them so urgently of the matter hadn't been important.

"Father, what is the reason you have summoned us?" the god asked. The king came down from the dais as the small group approached.

"There is a monster loose in Vanaheim. Lord Njord has asked me to acquire warriors to defeat it since no ordinary Asgardian can defeat it. Rather than waste good soldiers, I have elected for you all to hunt it," the king said. The warriors nodded, bowing their heads. They left to prepare themselves for battle.

Thor paused, waving the others on to remain behind.

"Father I sense that is not the only reason you have summoned us?" he asked. Odin sighed, giving him a slight nod.

"Thor, I have been told that Heimdal can no longer see Loki. Something shrouds him from his sight," he told him. Thor frowned.

"What do you mean? Loki is using magic to hide?" Thor demanded. Odin placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Now, now Thor. It's not good to jump to conclusions so quickly," he urged. Thor nodded, choosing to listen before rushing into things.

"What could Loki be trying to hide upon Midgard? His crimes have been forgiven. Why would he jeopardize everything?" the god asked. Odin nodded.

"Why indeed. I only hope that the reason for this is not as insidious as it seems. After you handle this matter on Vanaheim, you shall return to Midgard and monitor Loki's actions carefully. I have reason to believe that things are going to become increasingly difficult," the Allfather informed his son. Thor nodded, bowing.

"I will do my best," he said.

* * *

Tony frowned, glancing around the room. He frowned, eying the messiness of the floor. The god was usually clean. Tony called Loki's name again. He didn't get an answering call. He sighed, feeling something crunch under his foot. He glanced down, seeing the small bowl he'd stepped on. He picked up a shard, staring at the black powder residue on it.

"Well, he's either into hoodoo or making his own cocaine. Doesn't look safe, though," he said. Natasha took the shard to examine it herself.

"He's probably in the shower," she suggested. The inventor nodded.

Natasha made her way to Loki's room, listening for sounds of distress. She heard nothing at first. Slowly, she identified a slight choking sound coming from inside. Puzzled, she pushed the bathroom door open. She couldn't contain her gasp at the sight before her.

"Tony!" she exclaimed. Said man rushed into the room.

"What is it?" he asked. He froze, watching Natasha pull Loki's limp body from the shower to check for a pulse. The inventor cursed.

"JARVIS call S.H.I.E.L.D. and tell them to send an aircraft asap," he ordered, reaching out to grab a towel to wrap around the god. Natasha frantically felt along his neck, not getting anything. A few minutes after sending the request, S.H.I.E.L.D. returned the call.

"Sir, there is an incoming request from Director Fury," JARVIS told them. Tony nodded.

"Answer it," he ordered, taking a breath to steady himself. He stared at Loki, praying he wasn't dead.

"Stark," came the Director's voice over the speakers. "What is the meaning of this? Please tell me Loki hasn't gone rogue again," he said. Tony ran a hand over his eyes.

"Fury, we don't have time for that now. What I need you to know is that Loki is in need of medical attention and we're going to need that quinjet immediately," he said. The Director paused.

"The jet is en route. Tony what have you gotten into now?" he demanded. Tony groaned.

"It wasn't even my fault," he exclaimed. "Loki...we just found him," he said. Fury interrupted the inventor's panicked ranting to provide words of wisdom.

"What happened?" Fury demanded. When The inventor told him, the Director couldn't help but feel his heart sink. Loki was still technically a citizen of Asgard. Exiled prince or not, if the god died, Odin wouldn't hesitate to unleash his wrath upon the ones responsible.

"The jet will be there shortly. Until then stay calm. We can't afford any mistakes right now." Fury instructed before ending the call. Tony peeked into the bathroom.

"Should we move him?" he asked. Natasha nodded, almost crying out in relief when a faint pulse moved against her hand.

"He's still alive thank god. We can put him on the bed until S.H.I.E.L.D. comes. Then they can handle it from there," she told him. Tony nodded, grabbing Loki's ankles.

"I better get at least a thank you for this," he growled as he lifted. After Loki was safely situated, Natasha examined him for any injuries. She frowned, seeing a slight spidering of veins along his neck. She returned to the bathroom, leaving Tony to speak to Fury.

"So you think he slipped? Because Thor's gonna want to know what happened to his baby bro," In the bathroom, Natasha examined the floor of the shower.

Scattered about the drain were small black balls. She picked one up.

"I think he was poisoned," she told him, showing Tony one of the tiny pills. He paled upon seeing it.

"That doesn't look like something from Earth," he told her. She nodded, her expression echoing the worry in his voice.

"Sir, Director Fury has informed me that the quinjet to the tower will arrive in ten minutes," the AI said. Tony moaned.

"God please do not be dead," he prayed, hoping whatever creator of the universe there was would take pity on him and answer his prayers.

* * *

Thor frowned, seeing a great deal of commotion on the roof of Stark Tower. When he landed, his eyes instantly became glued to the sight of his brother being wheeled into the jet. He immediately sought out Tony.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. The inventor backed away, hoping not to get hit in the face.

"We found him like that ok? Nat and I went to check up on him and there it was," he explained. Thor frowned, pushing past the crowd of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to his brother. He stared down at the younger god, gripping Mjolnir tightly.

"What happened?" he asked as Natasha approached. She placed a small packet into his hands. He looked down, staring at the black powder and pills.

"Where did you get this?" he asked. Natasha sighed.

"We found it on Loki's floor. There was some crushed up in the front room and some of it in pill form near his body. I think he ingested it himself. We were wondering if you would know what it was. I had S.H.I.E.L.D. analyze it and it's definitely not of Earth origin," she said. Thor nodded slowly, glancing over at Loki as he was loaded onto the jet.

"Do you know what it is?" Natasha asked. Thor nodded silently. He said nothing as he turned away from her.

"Thor?" she called after him. The god unhooked Mjolnir from his belt and spun it around, preparing to take flight. Natasha stepped back, sensing the god was in a hurry. She only hoped that if Thor was going for help, he'd hurry back soon. She stepped into the quinjet and sat down in front of the unconscious god. She knew that whatever Loki had taken was slowly killing him.

* * *

Thor took off running as soon as he exited the Bifrost. He threw himself upon the first horse he saw and raced to the palace, clenching the packet Natasha had given him tightly in his hand.

If his suspicions were correct, then he knew Frigga would have an answer. His mother was an expert potion brewer and sorceress. He didn't trust anyone else with Loki's life.

He finally arrived at the place, his horse breathing hard through its nostrils from the exertion. Thor absentmindedly patted its neck and rushed off again.

"Mother," he said as he entered the royal chambers of his parents. He sighed in relief as he found his mother receiving a manicure from a serving girl. At Thor's look of urgency, Frigga shooed the girl away.

"Thor what has happened? You look worried," she said, rising to her feet. Thor thrust the pack into her hands.

"What is this?" he asked her in a hurried breath. She frowned looking at the contents. She opened the small plastic bag and stuck a finger inside to test the texture of the powder. She lifted the residue to her nose and took a small whiff. Immediately, her eyes widened.

"Thor, where did you get this?" she demanded. Thor shook his head.

"I was gone, but less than a day mother. When I returned to Midgard, there was a great commotion. I learned that Loki had been poisoned. I was told by the Lady Widow that he ingested these contents himself. I saw him, mother. He looked terrible. I believe you have had experience with this substance," Thor said. Frigga nodded grimly.

"I remember this very well. I often used it for young girls who had gotten pregnant from rape. Their bodies were not yet developed enough to bear a child, so this was the safest option," she told her son. Thor waited for her to continue.

"You already know of your brother's heritage, so I guess I should tell you of what comes with it," she said. Frigga motioned for Thor to sit.

"Loki came to me once, long ago. He claimed that he had met a girl who had been in need of this particular concoction. I gave him a few pills that I had made myself for such occasions. I assume that he learned to make them himself after that," she said. Thor leaned forward, eager to hear more.

"What of these pills mother?" he asked. Frigga shook her head.

"I discovered that he had been taking them also when he accidently overdosed himself. He had to see Eir after that. I eventually found out about it, though. He never gave me an explanation for it and I eventually let the matter go," she said. She shook her head.

"There has never really been a need for one, but I have most of the required items," she told Thor. His eyes widened.

"You do not have the needed ingredients?" he asked. The queen nodded, rising to her feet.

"I will need mainly because it loses its potency after a while when made, but it can be ready in a few hours," she promised. Thor sighed in relief.

"Do you think Loki will be able to wait that long?" Thor asked. Frigga paused, suddenly becoming uncertain.

"It all depends on how much was taken," she told him. Thor nodded, rising to his feet.

"I shall need you to fetch me a feather of Agnar," she said. Thor frowned. He had heard of the eagle king before, but it was known that Agnar moved his home every few decades, depending on his mood. Thor hoped that the eagle had chosen his home in a known place on Asgard. He was well known for his desire for secrecy.

"Is there no other way," he asked. Frigga shook her head.

"I am sure Heimdal would know. Ask him. Quickly now. Loki's life depends upon these ingredients," she told him. Thor nodded, setting off on his task.

* * *

Fury frowned, reading Loki's medical report. The god's blood seemed perfectly fine. There was nothing that indicated Loki was dying at all. He shook his head, handing the tests back to the doctor.

"Check them again. There has to be something we're missing here," he ordered. The man nodded, moving to prepare another syringe for use. Fury left the room, going to seek out the two Avengers that had tagged along on the quinjet ride. He found them in his office where he had left them a few minutes before, waiting nervously.

"Alright, start from the beginning," he prompted. Tony took a sip of his scotch, motioning for Natasha to go first. After she explained the situation once again, Fury leaned back in his seat, pondering the situation.

"Has there been any word from Thor yet?" he asked. Both Avengers shook their heads.

"No sir. But we were hoping that he was already working on a way to help Loki. He said he knew what the stuff was that Loki took," Natasha told him. Beside her, Tony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Fury glanced at him.

"Do you have something to add Stark?" he asked. Tony stayed silent as he felt himself being scrutinized. He knew that partially, this situation had come about because of his doing. The sense of guilt was setting in and getting stronger by the minute.

Natasha sighed, taking pity on him.

"It's not your fault Tony. If I couldn't see it with my background, then it would have been highly unlikely that you would have either," she said comfortingly. The inventor set his drink down, the glass still half full.

"I'm going for a walk. Need to clear my head," he told them. Fury nodded and let him go. He then looked to Natasha.

"I'm assuming you want to know why I didn't tell S.H.I.E.L.D. the moment I found out," she said quietly. The Director nodded.

"It would have been the best choice given the situation. Fandral could have been removed from contact with Loki sooner and this would never have happened. There was also the risk of-" he said sternly. Natasha nodded, raising a hand to cut him off.

"I know that sir, but things were not that simple, sir," the spy insisted. Fury stopped speaking.

"If things were as you say, then enlighten me Agent Romanov," the Director urged. Natasha sighed.

"Sir, Loki endured Fandral's abuse for centuries. I'm very certain that he developed a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. He asked me not to reveal anything until he felt it was the right moment. I just respected his wishes. I didn't want him to act irrationally," she told him. Fury sighed, rubbing his temples. He shook his head slowly, trying to figure out a proper course of action.

"What do you suppose we do now sir?" Natasha asked. Fury glanced up at her.

"The only thing we can do. We wait for Thor to return," he told her. She nodded, rising to her feet.

"I suppose I should check on Tony. He feels somewhat responsible because he was actually the one who allowed Fandral access to Loki," she told him. The Director frowned, but waved her on. He had a lot of things to think about and Tony Stark's guilty conscience didn't concern him in the slightest.

* * *

Thor paused in his ascent for a moment to catch his breath. He glanced back at Sif, who was steadily passing by him.

"Come on Thor. We need to get that feather before Agnar takes off for his nightly hunt," she told him. Upon hearing of the situation with Loki, the female warrior had insisted on coming with him, eager for the challenge. Thor hung his head, fighting the tremor in his muscles. He forced himself to continue on.

After another hour, they finally reached the summit where the eagle king Agnar was rumored to have made his home. Thor sighed in relief as he pulled himself over the ledge. He lay on his back for a long time to catch his breath. Sif nudged his chest with her foot.

"Thor, we're almost there," she told him. The god nodded wearily. He struggled to his feet at her insistence.

"Let us continue," he declared. Sif nodded slowly, allowing him to lead the way.

* * *

Tony sat by Loki's bedside, feeling exhausted. Natasha had found him an hour earlier, but had decided to let him have his space. The inventor watched the rise and fall of the god's chest, listening to the beeping of the ventilator he had been connected to.

After speaking to the doctors, it was clear that whatever substance that Loki had used required an antidote not known to anyone on Earth. Their only hope was Thor.

Tony stood, taking a few moments to walk around the room to stretch his legs. He glanced over at Natasha who was watching him quietly from her corner of the room.

"Shouldn't you be off on a mission with Barton?" he asked her. She smiled.

"I think I'm needed here more," she replied. Tony grunted as he sat back down, a slight tingling beginning his lower calf.

"Do what you want. Not like I can stop you or anything," he grumbled, sinking deeper into his seat. Natasha studied him slowly.

"I'm sure Thor will be back soon. He wouldn't abandon his brother if he could help it," she said. Tony huffed. They sat in silence for the next few hours.

* * *

Fandral winced as the girl cleaned his wound. He sighed, clenching his hand into a fist. He had never actually seen the wolves Sköll and Hati Hródvitnisson up close had been surprised that they had dared to enter Asgard alone either. It had been a very unusual situation for him. He glanced up as the girl suddenly bowed. The golden armor of Heimdal glimmered brilliantly even in the dimming light.

"Ah, Gatekeeper. How kind of you to visit me. I can assure you this is nothing I cannot handle. Hopefully, it will scar so that I will have a memoir of the battle," he said. Heimdal approached him slowly, the large sword on his back gleaming even from a distance. Fandral motioned for the girl to finish her job before sending her away.

As he pulled on a clean tunic, Fandral smiled.

"Shouldn't you be guarding the Bifrost?" he asked. Heimdal moved to close the door to the warrior's chambers. Fandral shifted nervously as he began to see what was happening.

"So you know I presume?" he asked slowly. He watched as the Guardian's jaw clenched.

"It took me quite a while to realize that it was you who stole that cloaking amulet from Lady Beladine to shield yourself from my gaze. I am the Watcher of the Nine Realms and I will not stand for it any longer. The Allfather will be informed and everything shall be revealed," Heimdal told him. Fandral smiled.

"Really? You plan to reveal my misdeeds then. Is that it?" he said.

"How could you do it? All of those children..." Heimdal said in disbelief. Fandral sighed, brushing his hair out of his face.

"They were just playthings really. Practice for my main goal. I took such pride in claiming a prince of Asgard," the warrior told him. Heimdal's eyes widened.

"What do you..." he asked, slightly confused. Then it dawned on him.

"Loki," he breathed. Fandral nodded.

"Of course. My most prized possession. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to him. He must assuredly miss my presence by now," the warrior told him. Heimdal blocked his path.

"You are not going anywhere. You shall be held accountable for your crimes. And judging by how many children you've raped and killed, I have no doubt what your punishment will be," the Guardian said. Fandral's face twisted with rage as Heimdal advanced.

Fandral snatched up his sword, pushing Heimdal off of him to get to it. The Guardian dodged the slash directed at his face. Fandral let out a cry of outrage as Heimdal's greatsword swept his legs out from under him. The Guardian twisted Fandral's sword arm until its breaking point and knelt on his chest once the weapon had been kicked a safe distance away.

"Fandral, you were a great warrior once. How could you do this?" he demanded. The warrior smiled through bloody teeth.

"I am _still_ a great warrior. Can a man not indulge a little in his most coveted desires?" he asked. Heimdal drew back, shaking his head.

"Your death will not be honorable Fandral. I will make sure of it," the guardian promised.

* * *

Thor waited impatiently outside of his mother's garden. He hoped that she would brew her potion faster for Loki's sake. He didn't know how long the effects of the poison took to become fatal.

He sighed heavily, sitting on a stone bench to wait. He glanced up as Sif entered the private gardens, looking flustered. He frowned, immediately thinking she had gone to visit Loki and had gotten bad news.

"Sif, what is it?" he demanded, thinking the worst."You must come quickly. They are spewing lies about Fandral. The Allfather is seeking your decision in the matters," she told him. Thor nodded.

"Tell my mother that I have gone to speak with my father should she come looking for me," he said to the Asgardian standing guard.

Thor followed the woman into the throne room where Odin was giving council over a bloodied and Fandral. He glanced around, his gaze stopping on a group of council members who were speaking in hushed tones. Heimdal stood beside the throne, speaking to Odin. He turned his attention to his father.

"Allfather what is the meaning of this madness? Have you gone insane? Unhand him. What sort of treatment is this of a valued warrior of Asgard?" he said. Odin came down from his dais, carrying Gungnir in his fist. He motioned for the guards to take Fandral to the dungeons.

"Thor, Heimdal has brought forth heinous accusations. Those that warrant the punishment of death many times over if proven to be true," the king said. Thor glanced over at the warrior worriedly. Fandral had been restrained by chains and was swaying back and forth, most likely due to blood loss judging from the amount splattered across his face and clothes.

"Stating what exactly?" he asked. Odin sighed, shaking his head.

"There have been claims that Fandral is the reason many children have disappeared over the past few centuries. Supposedly raped and murdered by his hand," he told his son. Thor shook his head, a feeling of disgust leading through his stomach.

"Why would he dare to make such accusations?" the god asked. Heimdal stepped forward.

"I have seen with my own eyes the effects he has wrought upon innocents. And I also believe he has done the same to your brother, Loki. He admitted to it himself when I confronted him barely an hour ago," Heimdal said. Thor stared at the man in horror.

"Fandral has done no such thing. He and I are blood brothers. We have fought in countless battles together. He would never..." Thor trailed off as Fandral began to struggle against the men restraining him as they began to drag him off. Thor started forward, but Heimdal stopped him. Sif moved to go around the Guardian, but stopped at Thor's behest.

"I do not think it wise to confront him now. He is quite hostile at the moment," Heimdal warned. Thor ignored him.

"Father, you must let him go. I know Fandral. There is no way he would have done any of those things. If he had done anything to Loki, then I would have known," Thor insisted. The king shook his head.

"I am sorry Thor, but what Heimdal has told me must be looked into. I cannot in good conscience release an accused man among the people just because he is a dear and close friend," he said. Thor stared at his father for a long moment, not comprehending how Odin could actually believe this tale. He sighed, bowing his head.

He knew that he would not be able to change the Allfather's mind through reasoning. He could only hope that he saw the error in Heimdal's judgment and release Fandral after a fair trial. He also hoped that Heimdal also would overcome whatever grief Fandral had caused him and see the truth.

* * *

Tony sighed, sipping his coffe. Natasha had insisted upon it when she saw that he was keeping hiimself awake hours on end. She didn't say it, but he saw that she was beginning to worry for him.

The door to the room opened and Natasha walked into the room with a doctor, Thor following behind them. The inventor jumped up when he saw the vial in the god's hand.

"Thor buddy, where have you been? Is tha the antidote?" he asked. The god nodded solemly.

"I returned to Asgard because my mother is an excellent potions maker." he said, handing the vial off to he doctor.

"Asgard is in a state of chaos. Fandral has been accused of rape and murder. He is currently awaiting trial. Accused by Heimdal! I cannot believe the absurdity of this," the of fumed. Natasha and Tony exchanged worried looks. Tony had him explain the situation more.

"Thor, perhaps we should talk outside," Natasha suggested. The god frowned, but followed them out into the hallway.

"What is the matter?" the god asked. Natasha sighed.

"Thor, everything Heimdal said is true," she told him.

* * *

Thor sat in Loki's room all night long, silently watching the younger god's chest rise and fall. The confusion he felt was slowly turning into a festering anger deep within him. He was still having trouble believing what Natasha had told him.

As light poured into the room, Thor watched as Loki slowly awoke. The god groaned, his skin feeling as if it were on fire.

"Loki," Thor aid quietly.

"Am I dead?" Loki asked hoarsely. His throat felt as if it were made of sandpaper.

"Thankfully, no," the god answered.

Loki curled on his side, choosing to stare at the wall instead.

"I know what happened, LokI," the god said. Loki continued to stare at the wall.

"No you don't," he said. Thor frowned, standing in front of the window.

"Fandral is to be executed after the first full moon of the month. Sif is devestated. The Allfather has to calm the people of Asgard. There is nothing but chaos amongst us now," he said.

"I got pregnant several times," the younger god told his brother suddenly. Thor's brow furrowed as he felt the anger rise in him again. He was still having trouble with the fact that he had gone all those centuries without knowing what Fandral had done to Loki.

"I started making my own potions so I wouldn't have to return to mother and risk her finding out," Loki continued. Thor sighed, shaking his head.

"It is alright Loki," the thunder god told him, stroking his back soothingly. Loki wrenched away from him, a look of disgust plastered on his face.

"How can you bear to touch me? After what happened," Loki said, sitting up. Thor paused.

"What do you mean? I love you Loki. I cannot fault you for terminating a pregnancy you did not want," he said. Loki held his gaze for a long moment before opening his mouth. A single tear spilled down his cheek as he spoke.

"Even if on one of those occasions...the child was ours?" he asked quietly. Thor held his breath, not sure if he had heard Loki correctly.

"What do you mean?" he asked uncertainly. Loki gave him his coldest stare.

"I was young Thor, and I loved you too much to see you deal with the shame. If I had given birth to our child we would have most certainly been exiled from Asgard. Or worse," Loki told him. Thor stood, pacing around the room.

"You knew you carried my child and yet you still..." Thor shook his head, unable to fathom such an idea.

"I did not care what others thought of us. I still don't," Thor thundered. Loki flinched at the ferocity in his voice. Their calmed himself before continuing.

"Why did you not tell me?" he asked. Look shook his head.

"You know how you were in your youth. Rash and thick headed. I feared that if you ever found out then you would have killed Fandral," he said. Thor stared at the floor.

"You're right. I would have. And rightly so," he declared. Loki turned to glare at him.

"Then Odin would have had _you_ killed. Rightly so," the younger god snapped. Thor ran a hand through his hair.

"I am sorry Loki. I should have known," Thor said. Loki snorted.

"There is nothing to apologize for. Even Heimdal never knew," he said.

"Well he does now. He is the one who told Odin," he said. Loki nodded slowly.

"It was not your fault Loki. He forced you. I think I should have known. In the deepest parts of my mind, I think I suspected that there was something between you and Fandral that was more..." Thor shook his head, unable to bring himself to finish.

"I love you Loki. And now that Fandral is gone and will never bother you again, I only hope that you can will come to me when you are ready to talk more. Of if you wish to revive our relationship," he said. Limited said in silenvery long that Their feared that he had become unconscious. He was relieved when Loki spoke.

"You still want me even after all of this. I can't fathom why," he said. Their sighed.

"Am I not supposed to love you through pain Loki? We share this burden whether you say so or not. You know where you can find me when you are ready to talk brother," Thor told him.

Loki listened to the sound of the door going, knowing he should say something. He had already told Thor more than he had expected of. He knew he should feel relieved that Fandral would no longer be able to reach him, but he knew in his heart that he would never forget.

* * *

** Author's Note:** I know having the Avengers travel up all those flights of steps is crazy and highly unlikely, but oh well. Also, there may be another fic after this one. I'll let you know. Thank you again for reading this.

:)


	5. The Fear Loki Set Free

**Author's Note:** This is the final update for this fic. Much thanks to thephoenixandthedragon4ever who's comment made me realize that even though Thor loves Loki if Fandral was abusing him, then having Thor start a relationship with Loki would bring on more trauma especially after the fact if the previous abuse was not treated properly.

Also sorry for not updating before Christmas. I usually update on my tablet but it recently stopped working and I had to turn to my laptop which has a limited copy and paste abilities as it is. Just grateful that it works, though. Happy holidays :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Thor sat watching as a small fish swam around in the pond of his mother's garden. He had forgotten how long it had been since he had strayed from his original destination, preferring the calm of the garden to its chaos.

He had returned to Asgard, with full intent to visit the dungeons and confront Fandral with his crimes. It had been decided by the Allfather himself that the man's execution would take place on the first full moon of the following month and Thor had full intention of having words with the ex-warrior before his inevitable death.

Odin had believed that to be sufficient enough time for the families of the victims to grieve before the event and for their hearts to cool from the fact that the murderer of their children was finally going to be brought to justice.

Frigga entered the garden then, seeking a reprieve from all the activity that had recently entered the palace.

"Are you well?" she asked her son gently. Thor glanced up at her, unsure of how to answer the question. He supposed he was well physically speaking, but emotionally…

"I feel I should have known..._something_," he told her after a long moment. Frigga seated herself beside him.

"We all should have known something was amiss. You must not blame yourself. Loki has his own way and he kept the information from us for a reason," she told him. Thor hung his head, a feeling of dread filling him.

When he had begun his own romantic relationship with Loki, he had always suspected that Fandral had not approved of their union. He had never understood the man's animosity until now.

Realizing all this, Thor could only assume that he had played as much a part in the degradation of Loki's mental health as Fandral. Knowing that he had unwittingly hurt Loki was hard for him to accept, but he did so for the sake of his brother. Of all the battles he had fought, it was the only one he knew he would not win before having begun it.

He felt that he should tell his mother all of these thoughts, but he found that in doing so, she would disapprove of their relationship. The kindest word she could use was incestuous. He groaned internally, feeling as if his world had been split in two. He couldn't bear to look his mother in the eye. Not after all the thoughts that had just run through his mind

"I failed. As his elder brother, I was supposed to protect him, and I failed," Thor stated flatly.

"What is done is done. The only thing we can do now is to help Loki through this difficult time. I am sure that you alone will have much more of a positive influence than any of us could," she told him sternly.

Her meaning was clear to him. She knew that their bond ran deeper than that of brotherly love, but yet she said nothing that referred to it directly. For that, he was grateful.

* * *

Tony studied the simulation playing on the screen, giving a satisfied grunt when everything ran smoothly. However, after fifteen seconds, the engine's power source overheated and fried everything in the machine. He groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Sir, I do believe it is past your allotted lab time," he heard JARVIS' voice say. Tony shook his head, fighting back a yawn.

"No J I'm good. Almost done here," he insisted. As the screens haranguing to shut down, he sighed in defeat.

"I apologize sir, but per Miss Potts request you are to spend no more than 12 hours a day in the lab daily," the AI reminded him. Tony cursed as he remembered his compromise with his girlfriend. He knew he should have never given her the command key codes to the tower. The things he did for love.

Tony pushed himself away from the worktable to stretch. He had no choice but to go to bed now, knowing that JARVIS had most likely alerted Pepper. Then he smiled, remembering that the designs he'd been working on had been for S.H.I.E.L.D.

He made his way to the floor he shared with Pepper via the elevator. He eyed the buttons of the lowest levels with pure detest. The lower levels of the soon to be renamed Avengers Tower had recently been taken over by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. He groaned, running a hand over his face. His life just kept getting better and better.

As soon as the doors opened, Tony made a beeline for his bar. His actions got a disapproving tone from his AI.

"Sir, do you think it wise to be drinking so early? It is after all only 1 am," he said. Tony rolled his eyes.

"Mute," he commanded as soon as he lifted the glass from his lips. Tony welcomed the silence that followed because of a headache he had only just realized he had. He drained the rest of the glass, deciding a quick 't hit him any.

When he entered his bedroom, he found that Pepper's silhouetted form was already in bed. Her laptop lay closed on the nightstand, plugged in and charging inevitable use that morning when she went to work. The inventor signed, slipping into bed as quietly as possible.

"You were in the lab all night, weren't you?" she asked without turning over. Tony sat up.

"I'm sorry. I just got caught up working on something for S.H.I.E.L.D., but luckily JARVIS reminded me so were all good," he said. He laid back down and snuggled up behind her. He felt her move away and sighed as the lamp came on.

"Pep, I said I was sorry," Tony began as he raised himself up onto his elbow. Pepper sat with her back to the headboard looking down at him.

"I know Tony. You're always sorry. But maybe you've been saying it to the wrong person," she told him. He frowned.

"You want me to apologize to JARVIS?" he asked. "Fine if that's what you want..." he said.

"Tony I'm talking about Loki," she clarified. He stared up at her from his position, feeling a bit confused.

"What about Loki?" he asked. Pepper sighed.

"I know you feel responsible happened, but it wasn't your fault," she said. "It was already happening thousands of years before we were ever born," she continued. Tony tried to swallow but found that his throat had become dry.

"That doesn't matter Pep. It happened in my tower for Christ's sake! Even if Loki did attack my world and kill almost a hundred innocent people in the process, he's still a person. Even, after all that, I still allowed him to stay in my home for his own safety," he told her heatedly. He threw the covers off himself and got out of bed, feeling his temperature rise.

"I promised Bruce that this place was safe for him. Steve and the others too," he ranted. Tony shook his head slowly.

"And when the time came for that safety net to be tested, that promise turned out to be a lie. Someone was being hurt under our very noses and we didn't even know it until the damage was done. So maybe I'm not just a little responsible for this whole mess. I'm a lot responsible. Completely responsible. You know it, and I know it," he said. Pepper shook her head, getting out of bed to join him.

"No Tony. I don't know it. Loki doesn't either. No one blames you. You weren't even here when Fandral..." she paused, seeing how uncomfortable the notion was to him. She began again.

"You weren't even present when everything was happening. It was beyond your control," she told him, pulling him against her. He buried his face into her neck, reveling in her intoxicating scent. He found that it had always calmed him in trying times.

"You should talk to him," she said quietly. Tony sighed.

"I don't want to brainy up any more painful memories for him. He's been through enough," he told her. Pepper groaned tiredly.

"Ever since the incident, you've been treating him as if he were one of your broken and fragile robots. He's not a robot Tony. He has feelings. I know from experience that victims of rape dislike being treated as if they were useless. They need something to do. You could even invite him to work with you and Bruce down in the lab," she urged. Tony frowned, hearing her choice of words.

"Experience...Pep what...?" he started to ask, but she shook her head.

"It's ok. It wasn't me. I knew a friend once who was a victim," she told him. He nodded, allowing himself to be led back to the bed.

"I want you to talk to Loki in the morning," she said. Tony nodded.

"Alright, I will. I promise we'll have a nice sit-down and eat breakfast and have a nice little chat," he told her. He grunted when Pepper elbowed him in the ribs.

"What was that for?" he demanded. "I was being serious," he insisted. Pepper sighed.

"Sometimes, I doubt if you're even capable of that at times," she said. He simply smiled and kissed her forehead.

* * *

Thor stood before the giant golden doors of the dungeons, unsure of his next step. He took a deep breath through his mouth and held it for a while. When he felt himself become lightheaded, he expelled it through his nose. It was an old trick Loki had taught him to manage anger. He was glad to have remembered it now.

He did it once more, knowing he didn't want to be completely focused when he came face to face with the man he was about to see. Finally, he nodded for the guards to allow him entry.

The walk past the long line of cells stirred up distant memories of the time when Loki had also been imprisoned for his crimes against Midgard. Thor pushed the thoughts from his mind. He did not wish to think of Loki now during a stressful moment. Thor turned when he reached the last cell, taking a moment to draw in another calming breath.

Thor was a bit uneasy upon seeing Fandral for the first time in weeks. From everything that had been said that he had heard whispered throughout the kingdom, he had half expected to find a monster shed of its mortal disguise.

Instead, what he found was a bruised and beaten man stripped of his fine clothes and his title. For a moment, Thor thought none of the rumors could be true. Surely this man in front of him, with whom he had once sworn brotherhood to, could not have done the crimes he had been accused of.

But then, when the man raised his eyes to meet Thor's own, the prince knew instantaneously that all that had been said could not possibly be false. Thor hardened his heart and resolve, wanting nothing but the truth to influence him.

Fandral smiled through bloodied teeth as he realized he had another visitor. When he realized who it was, his smile faltered a bit.

"Have you come to properly punish me Thunderer?" he asked. Thor stepped closer to the force field sealing the cell to get a closer look.

"Of all the monsters we have fought together, I could have never known that the vilest of all stood behind my back in the disguise of Asgardian flesh," he growled. Fandral huffed a laugh.

"How vulgar of you Prince Thor," he said, rising to his feet. He took a few steps forward, then grimaced when the chains around his ankles halted his progress. He gestured toward them.

"They must think me some sort of beast," he remarked. Thor stared down at the metal links.

"You are no beast, Fandral," he said quietly. The man raised an eyebrow.

"Why thank you, Thor. Apparently you are the only one in this Realm with wit about you," he said. Thor nodded.

"Yes because a beast would deserve better. At least, it would be killed and given the honor of being feasted upon and provide nourishing sustenance to great warriors," Thor said. Fandral made a pained face.

"You are harsh, Prince," he said. The god shook his head.

"No harsher than you apparently. The murderer of children. Rapist of innocents. You deserve worse than your fate, but I am not yet king so I have no say in the matter," he said. Cancel chuckled.

"I am punished because of my weakness for the flesh. If your father scrutinized you as closely as he did me, he would see that you and I both share the same sin," he pointed out. Thor's eyes flashed dangerously.

"How dare you make such false accusations. Of course in my youth, I courted young girls. They were all of a legal age, though. They all consented to our physical contact," he said. Fandral scoffed.

"My boys were also consenting...eventually," he said smugly. Thor slammed his fist against the shield.

"Damn you Fandral! I have never known you to harm a boar, except when it was needed. When did you turn so foul that you derived pleasure from hurting others? How could this to me? To Loki?" the god demanded.

Fandral paused and cocked his head as if listening for a sound. He smiled again.

"I believe it was around the age when boys normally crave the touch of another. It wasn't all that sudden really. And when it happened, I tried to right it. No, no. Do not look at me in that way. I did try. But some urges are just too loud to ignore," he said with a shrug.

Thor stared at him in disbelief. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest so hard that it threatened to leap from his chest and dance all over the floor. He took another breath to calm himself.

"I used to love it when he did that," Fandral said, casually leaning against the wall watching Thor. The other man opened his eyes slowly.

"What?" he asked. Fandral nodded.

"I said, I enjoyed watching your brother as he practiced his breathing exercises. It was always quite...erotic," he said huskily. Thor ground his teeth together.

"Shut up," Thor growled. The man smiled.

"You know he loved to suck my cock. Did you know that? I would come after you had thought you had satisfied his need and he would get on his knees and-"

The shield almost splintered against the force of Thor's fist. Fandral leaped back at the sudden outburst. He stared wide-eyed at the prince.

"You wish to kill me don't you?" he asked. Thor turned away from him.

"It is a very tempting offer, but I would not wish to dirty my hands with a touch of your flesh," he said. The god turned around for one last look at him.

"In spite of everything, I still see you as an old friend. Your past self has died in my heart to leave behind this husk of a demonic essence in its wake. I will remember that part of you which once sacrificed yourself for my own life with reverence," he said. Thor shook his head as he walked away.

"You never were a true man. Come and face me you coward," Fandral spat angrily. Thor continued walking.

He now knew in his heart that this visit helped him to put Fandral's memory to rest and helped him to move on to support his brother.

* * *

Tony sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair. He glanced around the refrigerator, realizing that almost nothing had been touched. There were a few items that had gone bad and he took those out first and disposed of them. Then he began picking out proper breakfast items. Once everything was cooking, he spoke to his AI.

"JARVIS, when's the last time Loki ate anything?" he asked. There was a slight pause as JARVIS reviewed his records.

"I have often had to remind Mr. Laufeyson to eat. Perhaps as much as twice a day. Most of the time he did not pay me any attention, so I have had Miss Romanov tend to him. Apparently she has had better luck than I, but only slightly," he answered. Tony nodded with a sigh.

He hadn't realized how much trauma Loki had had to relive in the last month. He felt terrible.

"Where is Loki now?" he asked.

"Mr. Laufeyson appears to be sleeping in his room sir," came his reply. "I have been constantly monitoring his vital signs, as requested by Director Fury," he finished. Tony sighed.

"Well, that's good I guess," he said quietly.

* * *

Loki sat up as the smell of cooking food hit him. His stomach gave a weary growl, but he felt too sick to eat. He frowned, wondering who could possibly be cooking on his floor at 9 am. He got out of bed to take a look.

He stepped tentatively into the living area. Part of him feared that this would be a dream and he would come face to face with Fandral, even though Thor had assured him he was safe.

Tony stood behind the counter with a drink in his hand, watching the bacon on the stove cook. He glanced up after a moment, realizing there was another presence in the room.

"Jesus Loki! You scared me," the inventor exclaimed, almost dropping his glass. Loki stared at him, not moving an inch.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Tony shrugged.

"I thought we could have a little breakfast together. And uh...talk," he answered. Loki frowned, folding his arms over his chest.

"Why?" he asked, a suspicious tone leaking into his voice. Tony paused, a slight shiver running down his spine. He pushed the feeling aside, attributing it to recent events.

"I thought you'd like some company up here. You never join us for...anything. At least not anymore. Not since…." Tony paused, glancing at the god's face. It was like stone, u moving and showing no emotion. Tony sighed.

"Look, it's been brought to my attention that I maybe haven't been treating you the way I should. I'm sorry. I was hoping that maybe we could just sit and talk," he said hopefully. Loki eyed him skeptically.

"I'm not hungry," the god said. Tony rolled his eyes.

"Well, you don't have to eat. But we do have to talk. Eventually. And you'll have to eat eventually too," he pointed out. Loki scoffed.

"Did someone put you up to this?" he asked. Tony took another sip of his drink. Loki's eyes narrowed.

"It was Natasha. Wasn't it?" he said accusingly. Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Actually no, it was Pepper. But that's not to say I didn't want to talk with you. She just gave me an idea of what to say." he said.

Loki stood for a moment, pondering the man's words. Then he smiled. Tony tensed, the sudden expression of emotion making him uncomfortable. Loki leaned against the counter, his smile widening to show his white teeth.

"Did she tell you to fuck me?" he asked. Tony jerked away from the god.

"What the hell Loki!" he said. The god drew back a bit, anger flashing across his features.

"What? Am I not good enough to bed the great Anthony Stark?" Loki demanded. Tony ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily.

"Loki, I-" he began, but was cut off as Loki came around the counter and grabbed him. The god forced their lips together with enough force to bruise. Tony pushed him away, going to the other side of the counter to put space in between them.

The inventor took a moment to catch his breath, praying Loki wouldn't come at him again. He wasn't sure if he could take another struggle with the god again.

After what just happened, he decided enough was enough and a gentle approach just wasn't going to work.

"If you did not come here for physical intercourse, then why have you come?" Loki demanded. Tony sighed.

"Loki, I know what Fandral did to you was wrong, and-" he paused when the god gave him a warning glare.

"I know you're going through some tough about right now, but I swear I'm trying to help, so don't bite my head off," he began again.

"Loki look, I only wanted to just...talk. Nothing sexual," the inventor promised. Loki's face twisted as if there were a foul taste in his mouth.

"I know I haven't been treating you as well as I should have been during this difficult time for, though, but I just want to apologize," he said. Loki was silent as the inventor spoke, his thoughts a conflicting melting pot of vicious insults he wanted to spill.

"Get out," the god said quietly. Tony paused.

"What?" Tony asked slowly. Loki lifted his head to glare at the shorter man.

"Can you not understand simple words? I said get out," Loki repeated. Tony stood slowly, nodding.

"Alright, alright. I'll go," the inventor said. He sighed, heading for the elevator. At the last moment, he turned.

"Listen, if you'd like to talk...about anything then I'm available at any time," he offered quickly before letting the doors close.

* * *

Heimdal watched as Thor paced back and forth across the Bifrost, a slight exhaustion washing over him from the repetitive movement. Even if they had just sparred, he still felt quite energized.

"My prince, is there anything else you require of me?" he asked. The blond god glanced up startled, suddenly remembering that he was not alone.

"I went to see him," Thor said. Heimdal nodded.

"I am aware," the Guardian answered. Thor frowned.

"During all those years, did you not suspect?" he asked.

"No more than you. Fandral used the amulet he stole from Lady Beladine to shield himself from my watch. And because of his relationship with you..." he shook his head.

"He deceived us all," he finished. Thor nodded slowly.

"Open the Bifrost. I wish to see my brother now," he said. Heimdal bowed and slid his great sword into place.

"Give my regards to your brother. I am sure he is in need of great comfort at the moment," he advised. Thor placed a heavy hand on his shoulder as he passed.

"I think it would be wise if you were to bring your brother to the execution," the Watcher suggested. Thor paused.

"You truly believe this would help him?" the god asked. Heimdal nodded solemnly.

"Yes. Perhaps seeing his tormentor of so many years meet the justice he deserves will cause him to let go of his anger," he said to Thor. The god nodded slowly.

"Alright. I shall follow your advice. At this point, I am more than willing to do anything necessary to ease Loki of this pain," he stated. Thor entered the transportation chamber, his mind still focused on Heimdal's words.

As the white light from the bridge faded, he book up Mjolnir and took off into the air. He didn't stop until he reached the tower. He dropped down into the roof and entered the building, entering onto his floor. He deposited his hammer near the door.

He was grateful for Tony's ingenious placement of the Avenger s floor placement. Thor was at the top of course for easy access to the sky when he took flight. Under him was Clint, Steve, Tony, Natasha and Bruce.

Loki lived with Thor. He always had ever since they had become lovers, but after Fandral, Thor had moved to another spare floor of the tower. But now that gone, Thor had moved back with hopes he could rekindle his and Loki's relationship.

Thor decided that before he saw Loki, he needed to shower. He could still feel the sweat on his skin from the sparring session he'd had with Heimdal. After, he slipped on a hoodie and a pair of jeans.

"JARVIS, where is Loki currently?" the god asked.

"Mr. Laufeyson is currently in the library. He does not wish to be disturbed, however," the AI said. Thor sighed, thanking him. Slowly, he made his way to the library that both he and Loki shared on their floor.

He peeked into the room. He could see his brother on the opposite side reading. Thor couldn't help but smile. This was the first bit of normalcy in the past month.

Suddenly, Loki glanced over at the door, most likely sensing he was being watched. Upon seeing Thor, the younger god stiffened. They both stared at one another.

Thor, not knowing what to say, just smiled and came further into the room. Loki shifted in his chair, watching as he approached.

"You're finally up and about I see," Thor commented. Loki gave a noncommittal shrug.

"I had to eventually. Don't you think?" he asked. Thor nodded. Loki eyed him carefully, seeing his still damp hair and the bruise on his cheek.

"I take it the man you sparred against was more than you bargained for?" he asked. Thor smiled.

"Well, Heimdal certainly hasn't lost any of his battle skills despite how little he uses them. He is quite the warrior," Thot complimented. Loki nodded and turned back to his book. Thor seated himself in the chair nearest his brother.

"I did not go to Asgard only to spar, Loki," Thor told him. Loki grunted in reply.

"Of course not," Loki said distractedly. Thor refrained from sighing aloud.

"I saw Fandral today," Thor said quietly. He watched as Loki's eyes froze from where they were pretending to read. The book began to shake with anger in his grip.

"What are you attempting to do Thor? Humiliate me even further?" he asked, throwing the book down and preparing to leave the room. Thor stood and grabbed his arm gently. Loki stiffened at the contact.

"His execution is the next full moon," Thor said simply. Loki glared at him and tried to twist away.

"And? What of it?" the younger god spat. Thor took Loki's hand in his own and pulled him into a hug.

"I think it would be good for you to witness it. It may help to release some of his anger you have been harboring," Thor told him. Loki ripped himself away from the other man,.a look of horror plastered upon his face.

"Where the hell did you get such a morbid idea? How dare you assume that I would ever want to see that man again. Ever!" Loki hissed. Thor backed away from him a bit.

"Loki I'm sorry. I did not mean to upset you with painful memories. I only wished to-" Loki cut him off with a sharp slap to the face.

"I don't give a shit what you thought. I do not wish to have this conversation with you. With anyone. I've already had to deal with Stark on this matter," Loki said bitterly. Thor moved out of the way as Loki stalked past him.

"Where are you going?" Thor asked quietly. Loki frowned.

"Somewhere quiet of course. I'm going to sit outside on the roof. Or am I not allowed to even do that, your majesty?" Loki sneered. They both stood there for a moment, each silently in a struggle for dominance. After a while, Thor let his gaze drop, freeing Loki from his hold. The younger god exited the penthouse as silently as a ghost.

Thor let him go. He sat down on the sofa, trying to figure out his next move. He knew that Heimdal wouldn't intentionally give him bad advice, but given Loki's reaction, he couldn't think of it as anything but. He sighed tiredly, shaking his head. He then paused for a moment.

He stood and went to the doors leading to the roof. He watched as Loki paused in his seemingly never ending pacing to sit with his legs dangling over the side of the building. Thor allowed himself to come a few steps out of the apartment.

"Loki..." Thor began, stepping closer.

"Don't come near me or I swear I'll push you off this ledge," Loki snarled. Thor took a few steps back.

"Perhaps I should leave you to yourself," Thor suggested. Loki pointedly ignored him, finding the skyline of New York more interesting to instead. Thor silently cursed himself, deciding they could both use some time to themselves at the moment.

* * *

Tony sat back as he watched his simulation run. There was really nothing else to do while he waited, besides watch Bruce read. He sighed, deciding to get a drink.

"This is boring just sitting here. You need anything while I'm up?" he asked. The physicist looked up at him calmly.

"Well if you could find me some more chai tea, I'd be extremely happy. I just ran out," he answered, lifting his empty mug. Tony snorted, shaking his head as he took it.

"You and your tea," the inventor mumbled as he left the room. He vaguely remembered Natasha buying some chai tea for herself. He was sure the spy wouldn't mind if he took one little tea bag. He was Tony Stark for christ sake. He was pretty sure he owned a few tea brewing companies here and there.

He sighed as he rummaged through the drawers in search of the needed items.

"What are you doing Stark?" Natasha asked him as she entered the kitchen. Tony glanced her and gave her his most innocent smile.

"Relax darling. I was just looking for some tea for Bruce. And maybe some vodka. I know you Russians always like to keep a stash somewhere," he said with a wink. She sighed, shaking her head.

"Please just put everything back the way you found it. I'm going to bed," she told him. Tony nodded, eyeing a bottle of whiskey instead. He paused, still feeling her presence at his back. He turned.

"I'll be quick," he promised. She smiled.

"I understand you had a little chat with Loki...or tried to?" she asked. Tony shrugged.

"Something like that. How'd you know?" he questioned. Natasha took a seat at the counter.

"JARVIS," she said simply. Tony scoffed and shook his head.

"I think it'd be better if you actually got an idea of what he's going through," she told him. Tony sighed, leaning toward her.

"Well bring it on. I don't want to get yelled at again," he told her. Natasha motioned for him to follow her.

"Please tell me you're not going to lure me into your bedroom and kill me. Because it's just cruel to get a guy excited and then slam the hammer down on his-" he froze as she set up her laptop and slid in a disk.

"I recorded this for Loki while you were away in China," she said.

"Actually, I was on a business trip in Japan. Very nice people the Japanese. Although I don't like the fact that they talk to each other in Japanese when you're sitting right there. It's quite insulting when your potential business partner doesn't want you to know what they're saying," he huffed. Natasha pressed play on the audio file and allowed him to listen.

After the recorded conversation ended, the inventor stood there in silence.

"Holy shit...I never even knew...that it had been that bad," he told her. The spy nodded.

"Of course, you didn't. No one did," she said. Tony nodded slowly.

"I-I think I was a bit too presumptuous with him. From the way he speaks...it's almost as if he still has positive feelings...for Fandral," the inventor said in disbelief. Natasha nodded.

"Stockholm Syndrome I guess," she replied. Tony nodded absentmindedly.

* * *

"I'm sorry I tried to kiss you," Loki said quietly. Tony allowed himself to smile.

"And I didn't mean to upset you," the inventor replied. Loki sighed.

"After everything that has happened, you still allow me to live in your tower without expectation of payment. Why is this? Surely I deserve some sort of punishment, some kind of anger from you and the rest of your realm for what I have done," Loki said. Tony seated himself beside the god.

"I guess I forgave you a long time ago. And so did the rest of the world. You know what they say. Life is too short to hold a grudge," he said. Loki glanced at him, a look of worry playing at his tired features.

"I have nightmares sometimes. That this will all be a dream and I will wake up and be a child again and Fandral will be standing over me, ready to..." he broke off, the rest of his words sounding too vulgar even for his own ears. Tony nodded in understanding, not pressing him for more information.

"I know I'm kind of a jerk to you a lot, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you. My lab's open anytime you need me. Well...seven hours day according to Pepper's rules, but you know what I'm saying," he said to the god. Loki nodded.

"I...thank you, Anthony," the god said.

* * *

Loki stared at himself in the mirror, pulling the last straps of his leather armor tight around his slender frame. He took a handful of oil and slicked his hair down with it. He continued to stand in front of the mirror, searching for any sign of imperfection in his attire.

He had not been on Asgard for years and wanted to look his best. He didn't want to give Fandral the satisfaction of seeing him sweat. He'd already sworn to himself that he would not show an ounce of emotion in front of that...monster. However when he was alone with Thor, things were another matter he was sure. He took a deep breath as he made a few last changes.

Thor stood when Loki exited the bedroom. After two and a half hours of waiting, the god was not disappointed. No longer did he see the fearful expression in Loki's eyes whenever the name of his rapist was mentioned aloud. There was a fierce fire in his eyes, letting him know there was nothing that could intimidate him. It was both arousing and frightening at the same time.

The god pushed the thoughts from his head. Even though Loki's exterior showed his strength, Thor knew that if enough pressure was applied, that shell would crack to expose the raw tenderness that was Loki's still healing mentality.

Thor gave an encouraging smile as he approached his brother.

"Are you certain you are up to this?" he asked worriedly. Loki smiled and placed a hand against Thor's cheek.

"Of course. Were you not the one who originally suggested the idea? Don't tell me the great Thor has become indecisive now," he said. The thunderer smiled widely.

"No. I just know this is hard for you. I do not wish to cause you unnecessary pain," he explained. Loki shook his head, pulling Thor out to the roof of the tower.

"Come. I think you should stop worrying and trust me," Loki said, leaning close. "Trust my rage," he whispered. Thor nodded confidently. He trusted Loki's judgment more than his own at times. If his brother said he could handle it, then there was no doubting his strength no matter how hidden away it seemed. He sighed and looked toward the sky. The sudden light from the Bifrost blinded Loki for a moment. It seemed brighter than he remembered.

Loki took a deep breath as the light from the Bifrost faded. He felt Thor place an arm on his shoulder, a comforting weight on his body.

Loki looked to Heimdal who inclined his head politely.

"It is good to see you again Prince Loki," the Watcher said. Loki smiled sadly.

"I am afraid I am no longer considered to be a prince of this realm any longer," he said. Heimdal smiled in response.

"You have always been a prince of Asgard Loki," he replied. He paused for a moment as a distant memory came forward in his mind.

"Except for the time when Thor was banished to Midgard. Then, you were my king no matter how briefly," he said. Loki felt his breath hitch in his throat as he heard the man's words. He paused, fighting to keep the sudden emotion that washed over him under control.

"Thank...thank you Heimdal. I am not sure how Odin would appreciate you saying such words, but I am...touched," the dark haired god admitted.

Thor led Loki over to where two horses were waiting. Loki sighed upon seeing them, remembering the days when they were young and had practically raised the animals themselves.

They didn't speak much on the way to the palace. It seemed that Loki was more interested in marveling in rediscovering the wonders of the golden halls of Asgard. Thor suddenly realized that maybe Loki had begun to miss visiting Asgard. Thor left him to marvel on his own, feeling that would be best.

Upon arriving at the place, Loki dismounted first and began to pet his horse's muzzle. Thor watched him for a long moment, lost in his own thoughts. He'd missed seeing Loki on Asgard, but his banishment prevented him from returning. Odin had only made this one allowance out of sympathy for his younger son and because of Frigga's instance.

Loki glanced at him, eyebrow raised.

"Are you going to stay here all day?" he asked playfully. Thor smiled, thankful that the old Loki had not been lost through all the pain. He grunted as he climbed down from his horse. A stable boy came to take their reins from the two of them. He glanced nervously at Loki, no doubt having heard of his attempt at trying to take over Midgard. Thor smiled and ruffled the boy's hair.

"I think he has a crush on you, Loki," he remarked as he led the way. Loki raised both eyebrows, this time, a look of uncertainty washing over his face.

"What makes you say that?" he asked. Thor shrugged, a grin spreading across his lips.

"He always asks of you. Each day. I often catch him staring at that family portrait in the halls. You would think he'd learn, but it would seem love makes us do foolish things," he said. Loki sighed, shaking his head.

"He is a boy Thor. It is expected that they be foolish," Loki replied. Thor chuckled heartily.

"I remember when we were that age," Thor said quietly. Loki nodded.

"I, however, was never that foolish. It was always you who couldn't help but find some danger to get us into continuously," he pointed out. Thor's smile widened.

"You were always right. Whenever we went on our little trips across the Realms with the others, you always guided us," he said. Loki grunted in reply. He didn't really like thinking of his childhood. It often brought about unwanted memories.

The walk to their parent's private rooms was a silent one. Thor realized that he'd probably ruined the mood with his talk of their trips. He sighed silently, wondering why he could never keep his mouth shut about such things.

As they approached their destination, Thor noticed that Loki began to hang back once he realized where they were headed. Thor cleared his throat.

"We don't have to see them if you don't want to. I could take you back to your rooms and you could stay there until the execution," Thor offered. Loki shook his head.

"No. I will not hide from them. If they wish to be ashamed of me then I will see to it that they look me in the eye as they do so," he said sternly. Thor opened his mouth to offer another, last alternative but decided against it. Loki had made his choice and he didn't want to undermine it. He sighed and placed his hand on the door's handle.

Frigga rushed to hug her sons as soon as they entered the room. Locked in his mother's embrace, he quickly glanced around for Odin. He gave a sigh of relief when he didn't see the Allfather. He was sure their reunion would no be pleasant.

Frigga turned to Loki, reaching for him hesitantly.

"I was almost afraid that you wouldn't come," she admitted. Loki allowed her to embrace him tightly.

"I would never pass up an opportunity to see you again mother," Loki admitted. Frigga smiled questioningly.

"Pass up?" she asked, an amused smile playing at her lips. Loki shrugged, splotches of red appearing against his cheeks.

"I guess the Midgardian slang has finally infiltrated itself into my vocabulary," he reasoned. Frigga laughed, pulling both of her boys into another hug. Thor sighed as he felt Loki finally relax. The queen led them over to the seating area, eager to spend time with them both after so long. Her eyes lit up suddenly as she looked toward the doorway.

Odin entered the room slowly, his exhaustion showing in his every move. Both Thor and Loki stood at the same moment, showing respect for the king's sudden entrance. Loki lowered his gaze to the floor and kept it there, only glancing nervously at Frigga before he did so.

Frigga refrained from speaking and placed a hand on Thor's arm when he prepared to do so. The gesture Loki had shown toward Odin was his own silent plea for acceptance. It was often practiced among lesser ranking nobles when in the presence of higher ranking kings or queens. At the moment, Odin's response could decide the course of his and Loki's relationship for the rest of their lives.

Odin stared at his younger son for a long moment, not having expected this type of reaction from the usually overly prideful Loki. He knew how important this one meeting could determine their future.

Odin let go of his staff and approached his younger son cautiously. He placed a hand on his shoulder as he spoke.

"Loki," he began quietly. After a long moment, Loki raised his eyes to meet that of the Allfather's. He didn't hide his surprise as Odin pulled him into a hug, but didn't resist either. Loki allowed his arms to come up so he could return the embrace.

"I hope you can forgive me Loki for my poor judgment in the past. It would bring me great joy to once again call you my son," he said hopefully. Loki nodded slowly.

"It would be nice to have a father again," Loki replied in a quieter tone. Frigga came to stand next to her husband, an expression of joy on her face.

"I am so happy that you both have forgiven each other. Now we may spend time together as a family once more," she said. Loki grimaced.

"Actually, I originally came just for...the execution," he admitted. Frigga nodded solemnly.

"Of course. Well, after I think we will all feel better."

* * *

Loki sat in his chambers with his knees drawn up to his chest. His overcoat was thrown across a sofa and his shirt was untucked to provide some relief from the heat of Asgard. He'd noticed vaguely that Manhattan had been much cooler than Asgard and the weather there had become his preference. He sighed, taking another sip of spiced wine. He closed his eyes, enjoying the slight burn as the warmed liquid made its way down his throat.

Fandral's execution was in four hours and he intended to get drunk before it came along. He knew he wouldn't be able to face his childhood rapist sober. He'd even briefly considered visiting an apothecary for a drug to relax him.

He'd decided against it, however. He wanted to be slightly buzzed, not incoherent and falling over. So he contented himself with his heavily alcoholic spiced wine and allowed its effects to take place. He laid his head back against the cool marble. He grimaced, hearing Thor enter loudly into his room.

"Brother...what are you doing? I thought you would want to join us for an early supper," Thor told him. Loki sighed and held up his goblet.

"No need. Food would only dim its effects," he said. Thor frowned.

"Brother, I do not think you should be drinking so heavily of that particular wine. You know your body must get used to Asgard's delicacies again," he said. Loki smiled, taking a moment to stand. Thor lunged forward when he stumbled a bit, but there was no need. Loki righted himself quickly before he could fall. He sighed, reluctantly allowing his brother to take the drink away.

"Perhaps that is enough...for now at least," Loki told him. The younger god groaned as his vision swam.

"Will you bring me some water?" he asked gently. Thor nodded and went to the pitcher over on the table. He refilled the cup and brought it back to Loki, who immediately began to sip it. Thor sighed.

"Must you take after my youthful self?" he asked, remembering the days when he himself would often use alcohol to deal with his problems. Loki smiled.

"Why not? It worked for you did it not? At least, until mother scolded you for it," he said. They both laughed at the memory of simpler times before going quiet.

"Tell me of what is to happen," Loki said. Thor shook his head.

"I'm going to bring you something to eat Loki. Something to sit on your stomach," he told his brother.

"No, I want to know," the younger god snapped angrily. Thor paused at the door.

"Do you really wish to know Fandral's fate?" he asked. Loki nodded solemnly.

"Please...I need to know. There is a burning need to prepare myself for what is to come and at the moment, only you can satisfy it," he pleaded. Thor groaned at the tone of his brother's voice. He returned to where he had been sitting before, watching Loki drink his water. He wanted desperately to reach out and brush that stray strand of hair from his brother's face, but he knew that if he did so he would end up pulling Loki's body against his own and kissing him. So, he didn't.

"They mean to execute him by the method of Blood Eagle," he said. Loki nodded with a sigh. He only wished he could get drunk without the promise of a hangover later on.

"I hope they also mean to castrate the bastard beforehand," Loki growled, his fist closing tightly over his chalice. Thor contented himself with the simple gesture of placing a hand in Loki's arm.

"Be still brother. You must not let your lust for vengeance overcome you," he said. Loki turned his head to look at him.

"Thor...I do not say it for me. I say it for them. The...others," Loki clarified. Thor paused as he began to understand. His desire to hold Loki finally increased too much for him to ignore.

He pulled an emotional Loki into his arms and stroked along his back comfortingly. The gesture reminded him of the time when he would often do this when they were children and Loki would be frightened of a nightmare. He allowed himself to breathe in his brother's musky scent, feeling starved of it as of late. He felt Loki's embrace tighten a bit and heard him sigh in relief.

"I've missed you," Loki whispered. Thor drew back a bit so he could see Loki's face. What he found there was full of a raw emotion so powerful, Thor couldn't help the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

"I've missed you holding me. I've missed sharing my bed with you. Our bed. I know you want to give me time and let me heal from what happened, but I think I've healed as much as I'm going to heal anyway," Loki said in a rushed breath. Thor couldn't help but stare at Loki for a moment, his chest feeling as if it might explode from the rushing sense of relief filling him.

"Well say something," Loki urged worriedly. When Thor tried to speak, he found he couldn't find any words good enough to describe the joy he was feeling. So he pulled Loki onto his lap and kissed him. Loki let out an excited huff of laughter and readjusted his position for a better angle.

Thor allowed himself to be pressed onto his back, wishing that they could stay like this forever. He latched onto Loki's neck and sucked, enjoying the moan it drew from the man above him. He smiled as Loki ground their hips together.

A knock on the door drew their attention away from one another. Loki rolled off him and stood straightening his clothing. Thor did the same before going to answer the door. On the other side stood a small group of palace guards, each standing at attention and alert. The Head Guard bowed to the prince standing in front of him and stated his business.

"My men and I have been tasked with the honor of escorting you and Prince Loki to the royal chambers of the Allfather before the ceremony, and afterward to the ceremony itself," he stated confidently. Thor glanced at Loki who was glaring daggers at the man. Thor turned back to the men, smiling pleasantly.

"Thank you. I think I shall help my brother ready himself for what is to come," Thor said politely and closed the door. He turned to the other god.

"Brother, what is wrong? Did the guard do something to offend you earlier?" he asked. Loki laughed harshly at the thought.

"No, no. Nothing of the sort," he replied with a sigh. Thor approached him.

"Then what upsets you so?" the god pressed. Loki shook his head.

"It just amazes me that there are so many guards. So many in fact that they all seemed to avoid me all those years ago while Fandral had his merry way with me in my youth. Don't you find that odd dearest brother?" Loki asked. Thor frowned.

"You believe Fandral bribed the guards whenever he came to you? So he was never caught?" he asked, wide-eyed. Loki huffed.

"The guards, the servants, the healers...all of them! All because Little Loki was second born. Unimportant and expendable," he spat bitterly. Thor took Loki's more slender hand in his own, his thumb stroking soothingly over the soft skin of the back of it.

"You are important to me, Loki. Never forget that," he said as he raised the hand to his lips to kiss gently.

Then Loki smiled and it was the most beautiful thing Thor had ever seen.

* * *

Odin glanced toward his wife, a grim expression forming on his face. Frigga sighed, placing a delicate hand on his arm.

"Don't worry Odin. He was most likely too tired to join us for supper and decided to rest. You know how Loki was as a child. Traveling by the Bifrost always left him with a headache," she told her husband.

"He grew out of it, though," he reminded her with a small smile. Frigga returned it warmly.

"He grew to love it. He and Thor would often sneak out of the palace to look at the bridge," she reminisced. She sighed, gathering her robes so she wouldn't trip over then when she walked. Odin hefted his golden staff with a grunt. He sighed, remembering the moment he had had to watch Loki fall into the abyss under the Bifrost. The memory still haunted his dreams.

"I think the boys are here. I'm sure Loki will be a little perplexed by your decision, but he will see the reason in it," she said. The king nodded and she went to meet the two princes.

Odin listened as she greeted them happily, and then led them to the room she had just exited.

"Sit," Odin said as gently as he could. He had been king for so long that he had begun to realize that even everyday conversations seemed like non-refusable orders.

Loki sighed and did as he was told, glancing at Thir with a raised eyebrow.

"Father we were told that you wished to discuss something important with us," Thor began. Odin nodded.

"Yes, I did. But, more specifically with Loki," he told them. Loki frowned as Frigga placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to accept, Loki. Someone else could do it," she told him, earning her a withering look from her husband. Loki's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Father, what is this about?" he asked. Odin sighed tiredly.

"Fandral's execution is in less than an hour, Loki," the king said. Thor shifted closer to Loki, hoping their parents weren't suggesting their fear of Loki doing something drastic upon seeing Fandral again.

"Loki, I think this is for the best if you do as I ask of you. As your mother said, you are not obligated to do this. It is your choice," he said.

"What are you asking of me?" Loki said, growing defensive.

Odin told him and all the color drained from Loki's face.

* * *

Odin scanned the crowd of people gathered in front of him, not having expected such a large turnout. It seemed that they stretched on for at least a mile or more. His eyes met those of King Njord, the leader of the Vanir gods. He inclined his head out of respect for the other king.

He allowed his gaze to roam a bit more and caught sight of Loki standing behind him. He felt his heart clench, wishing he could go to him. But tonight he was to play the part of the benevolent king, not the caring father.

"Tonight you have been called here to join in witnessing the execution of one we have called our own for many centuries. He has lived among us, often fighting for the safety of our kingdom. We were deceived, however. It has only recently been discovered that he has been responsible for the rape and murders of far too many of our young. Tonight, he will receive the justice he deserves, the justice his victims deserve but will never know because of the fear he has placed in their hearts."

At this, two guards led a calm Fandral to the two posts that had been prepared for him in advance. When he saw them and realized what his punishment was to be, his back stiffened and he looked to the crowd of people off to his right. He smiled wildly when he saw Loki. The god showed no emotion as the man's lecherous gaze raked over his body. Loki took a deep breath as Odin nodded for him to approach. Thor gave him and encouraging smile as he walked forward.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Odin asked. Loki nodded slowly.

"Yes. I'm just a bit nervous. I've never done anything like this before," he admitted. Odin nodded first to Loki and then to the guards. The two men stripped Fandral of his clothing first. As they did this, two young servant boys came forth carrying bowls of water, soap and cloths. They knelt before Fandral and cleaned the organ between his legs thoroughly before sneaking away to a place close by. The guards repositioned Fandral into a reclining position before going back to standing at attention. Loki let out a shaky breath.

"There will be quite a bit of blood, but be calm my son. You have fought countless battles alongside your brother. There was much bloodshed then as there will be now," the king said.

"Not like this," Loki insisted. Odin nodded, placing a firm, but comforting hand on his shoulder. He urged Loki forward. Loki sighed as he felt all eyes shift to him as he began to speak.

"Tonight, there will not only be a public execution but a public castration as well. If you feel you will be uncomfortable with this, then please feel free to leave now," Loki told them. When no one moved, he continued.

It was quite uncomfortable for him during the speech he made, but he found that the more he spoke of his past trauma, he felt a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Then, he realized the time had come for him to do what needed to be done.

He approached Fandral slowly, trying to determine how he was feeling. Oddly, he couldn't help but pity the man.

Loki stared at the knife that was presented to him. He almost smiled. It was a beautiful blade really. Dwarven made, so expert craftsmanship was to be expected. It was curved, reminding him of a smaller scaled sickle.

He took it, feeling a false sense of calm wash over him.

In reality, his heart was pounding and he was starting to get a headache. He hadn't begun to sweat, but he was sure he would in a few moments. He took another deep breath.

Fandral's eyes hardened as Loki approached him, the god's exterior exuding calmness.

"You wouldn't dare. Don't even think about touching that blade to my skin," Fandral snarled. Loki pointedly looked down at the man's genitals, a wry smile twisting itself onto his face.

"That's funny. I thought you liked showing off your cock," Loki told him. Fandral let out an enraged cry and tried to kick out at him. His aim fell short, however, as his limbs were restrained and tied to poles that put him in a spread eagle position.

"I'm sure this is going to be painful, but not as painful as all those years you hurt me, and let me tell you, that was quite a lot of time," Loki said. Fandral scoffed.

"But first...I think I'll have a bit of fun with you first," Loki told him leaning close. Fandral stared at him.

"So you plan to torture me is that it? You string me up like a salted carcass and cut the flesh from my very bones?" he demanded. Loki sighed tiredly.

"Not likely. I plan to take from you what you treasure most. Just as you stole the innocence of my childhood," Loki replied. He reached down and began to fondle Fandral's cock.

"Well, I have to admit it. You always did have soft hands," the ex-warrior told him. Loki didn't bother to answer as he positioned the knife over the man's genitals.

"I do have you to thank, though. If not for you, my first sexual encounter probably would not have happened until...well now I suppose," Loki said, gently dragging the blade over the sensitive head of his penis. Fandral couldn't help the hiss of pained pleasure that escaped from his lips.

"Do you really think it necessary to tease me, Trickster?" he asked. Loki smiled.

"Why of course. I only give you the same amount of courtesy you bestowed upon me all those years ago," Loki replied sarcastically. Fandral groaned as Loki pumped along his shaft once, and then twice more for good measure.

"I think you're becoming aroused by this," Loki said quietly. Fandral grinned.

"Who could blame me when I have such a pretty thing like you touching my most intimate of places," the man replied.

Behind Odin, Thor shifted nervously as he watched the scene.

"Father, are you sure this-" Odin quieted him with a raised hand.

"I trust Loki. I know now that he would never so anything to purposely embarrass the royal family," he assured hs son. Thor nodded skeptically but allowed things to continue uninterrupted.

Loki sighed, refraining from wiping the precum smeared over his palm away. He decided now was almost a good time as any.

"I think this is the last time you'll ever get to come, so I suggest you enjoy it. But I want you to close your eyes first. Just for a moment," Loki told him. Fandral groaned, closing his eyes.

The next few moments were a blur for the god. He pressed the gleaming metal against the skin enclosed in his hand. Fandral jerked, suddenly feeling the cold object against his skin.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" he demanded. Loki smiled.

"You really thought I was going to allow you to orgasm after all you've done?" Loki said. Fandral glared at him with hate in his eyes.

"It was a hope, yes, but I was not entirely-" he broke off at an agonizing pain in his genitals distracted him. He stared down at Loki's hand, which now held his cock and balls detached from his body. The pain he was experiencing only seemed to grow as time went on. Suddenly, a hoarse scream tore itself from his throat.

Loki took a step back in an effort to keep his clothes clean as a burst of blood spurted toward him. His vision began to swim and he was afraid he might fall over in front of everyone. Thankfully he didn't. As he stared at the blood splattered on the stone, he saw words begin to form and he couldn't believe what he read. He closed his eyes, willing the image away until a more positive time.

Loki allowed the blade to slip from his fingers, the shock of what he had just done setting in. When he realized he was still holding Fandral's genitals, he dropped them as if they burned his very flesh.

He looked on as a young man came over to him and offered him water to clean his hands with. He barely felt the cool water as it touched his skin, nor the softness of the fabric as his hands were dried for him. He closed his eyes, suppressing a shudder. He made his way back to Odin who patted him on the back.

"You did well son," the king told him. Loki forced himself to nod, numbly seeing what was before him.

Loki stared on as the Blood Eagle was performed. He barely heard Fandral's screams as his back was sliced open and his ribs were broken and pulled away. Barely heard the shuddering, gasping final breaths as hands reached in and the lungs were exposed to the outside world. All he saw was the blood still dripping from his fingers.

* * *

Tony waved as the two gods returned to the tower. It was only a day after the execution, and Thor had thought that a bit of fresh air would do Loki some good. He had been right, seeing as how Loki looked better than the day before.

"Greetings Stark. I take it you have finished with your schematics for S.H.I.E.L.D.?" the god asked. Tony nodded.

"Yep. I finally have S.H.I.E.L.D. off my ass for a while and I plan to enjoy it," he told them. He glanced over in Loki's direction. The younger god seemed to be trying his hardest to appear unnoticeable. When he noticed he was being stared at, he decided to excuse himself.

"I think I'll just go lie down for now. I'm feeling quite tired," he told them. Thor nodded as Loki headed to their bedroom. Tony frowned.

"Did things not go as planned at the uh...you know?" he asked. Thor sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I know not what ails my brother. He refuses to speak with me, but I do not pressure him. He will come to me in his own time if he so wishes," the god told his teammate. Tony nodded.

"So you mind telling me what happened on Asgard? I'm kind of curious to know how you guys would go about executing someone. Just in case, I should deflower some distant princess and get in trouble for it," he said. Thor shook his head.

"Our parents thought it best if Loki was the one to carry out the first part of Fandral's punishment," he said. Tony snorted.

"What? Whipping?" he asked. Thor shook his head.

"Castration," the god answered. The inventor suddenly began to choke on his own saliva. Thor sighed.

"What the _hell_ Thor!" Tony exclaimed. Thor sighed.

"After the practice of Blood Eagle was performed," the god said. Tony frowned.

"Isn't that the one where they cut open the back and..." he trailed off as Thor nodded slowly.

"Aw fuck, I think I'm going to be sick," Tony moaned. He staggered over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

"Thanks a lot, Thor. Now I think I'm just going to go cry myself to sleep. Hopefully, Pepper will be there to comfort me," he groaned. Thor couldn't help but chuckle.

"Goodnight friend Stark," Thor said. Tony gave him a thumbs up as he entered the elevator. The god sighed, deciding that now might be the best time to find out what was ailing his brother. He entered the bedroom they shared.

Loki lay on the bed, eyes closed. Thor stared at him for a moment, captivated by how young he looked while resting. He went over to the window to think.

"Thor, I have something to tell you," Loki said, sitting up. The blond god turned away from the window, an encouraging smile on his face.

"What is it, brother?" he asked. His mood dampened for a moment when he saw the fearful look on his face.

"I'm pregnant Thor," Loki said. Thor's brow furrowed in confusion. A feeling of dread clawed at his heart.

"I don't mind if you do not wish to have it Loki. I can't blame you for wanting to rid yourself of that monster's children," Thor said. Loki swallowed thickly, his throat going dry.

"It's not him," Loki said, sounding stronger than he felt. Thor stared at him for a long moment.

"Are you certain? How can you know?" Thor asked hesitantly. Loki shook his head.

"I just know Thor. I know. My magic...it can sense these things," Loki told him. After a moment, Thor nodded.

"Alright. I trust your magic and I trust you even more," he said, gathering Loki into his arms. Loki couldn't help but smile at his tenderness. He sighed as he buried his face into the crook of Thor's neck and allowed himself to breathe in his scent. He'd missed the closeness he'd shared with his brother.

"I don't want any more abortions, Thor. I just...I-I can't. Please believe me when I say I know that you are the father of this child," Loki told him. Thor nodded.

"Of course Loki. I wouldn't dare dream of doing that to you," he said. Loki squeezed Thor tighter, afraid that if he let go, he would lose the moment forever.

As they stood there holding one another, Loki couldn't find an ounce of sadness in his heart after everything that had happened to him. Through it all, when he thought of Fandral, he could only find forgiveness inside of his heart.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you to all who stuck with me on this story. Will try to work on my crazy and erratic update pattern with my other fics. Sorry to those of you who are reading Loki's Resentment and any other fics that I haven't been updating. Been busy trying to finish this first. But since this is the last one, then I'll be updating soon. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

:)


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